


Changing Lanes

by emilyjade91



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - All Media Types, Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: F/M, Growing Up, High School, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:48:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyjade91/pseuds/emilyjade91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kristy hates change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Change

I, Kristy Thomas, hate change. I love patterns and normality. The idea of huge, dramatic changes scare me. When I was thirteen, I wanted to change something every five minutes but then we left middle school and moved onto high school and that's when my fear of change happened. That had been a huge change. I had to learn to grow up. High school was like another culture. My old club, the Baby-Sitters Club, disbanded in the June before hand and silly little me, thought that we'd hang out together in high school too. Claudia and Stacey had ditched us before the day ended, hanging out with a more "popular" group than ours. Abby moved to the group where all the jocks were. It left Mary Anne and Me. For almost two years, that was how it was. Mary Anne and I studied together, ate lunch together and hung out after school together. Then one February day in Sophomore year, I walked into the cafeteria to where Mary Anne and I normally sat and found Claudia sitting there with no Stacey. I never fully found out the full story but I didn't mind the minor hiccup in our daily normal routine.

So when I say, that I found Cary Retlin standing in front of the locker next to mine, I was surprised. He was so much more taller from the last time I saw him, which was properly after eighth grade graduation. His hair was a little bit longer. He was skinny and so pale, like he had spent three years in Alaska away from the sun. He turned around and smirked as he saw me. "Thomas." He said.

"Retlin." I replied, walking towards my locker. Why was he back? Especially after so long.

"Long time, no speak." He said, shutting his locker. He seemed to tower of me. I wonder if I even reached his shoulders. I wish I had grown since the last time we had seen each other.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"Pennsylvania. You look exactly the same." He inched closer. "Still the same-old short ass I've missed toying with." I bit my lip, trying to think of a good come-back. "I'll see you around." He turned around and walked away.

My hands shook with anger. God damn him! I opened my locker and pulled a few books out. Only when I was walking down the hall towards homeroom, that I realized Cary Reltin was really back. My watch was missing off my wrist.

\---------

"What happened to your watch?" Mary Anne asked me as I sat down in front of her at our table. Claudia was still in line.

"Cary Retlin." I grumbled, shoving a fork full of whatever was on my plate, into my mouth.

Mary Anne giggled. "I saw him between third and fourth periods. My, how has he changed."

"Whose changed?" Claudia asked, dropping into the chair next to me.

"Cary Retlin. He stole Kristy's watch already."

Claudia smirked. "He's my English class. I do have to say. That boy has gotten cute."

"Cute?" I asked, dropping my fork. "In no way, is Cary Retlin cute!"

Mary Anne and Claud both nodded. "Yes he is, Kristy." Mary Anne said. She giggled again. Her giggling was really getting on my nerves. "And he's coming towards us."

"What!" I exclaimed loudly.

"Hi Cary." Mary Anne said, smiling sweetly. So much for some notice.

"Ladies." He said, sitting down next to Mary Anne. "Claudia, Thomas."

"Where's my watch?" I asked, cutting off Claudia before she could even get a vowel out.

He smirked. God, I hate that smirk. It irked me more than him being able to get my watches off my wrists without me knowing. "Haven't you checked your pockets lately?" He asked.

Mary Anne and Claudia turned to me, smirking and raising an eyebrow each. "Of course I have." I said, jamming a hand into my left pocket. Nothing. I shoved the other one in the right pocket and pulled out my black-leather strapped watch. I clenched my jaw shut. How had he got my watch into my pocket of all places without me seeing him? "How?" I asked.

"I have my ways, don't you worry, Thomas."

"One day, I'll work out those ways." I shot up quickly. "I have to… go." I walked away from the table as quickly as I could.

\--------------

The rest of the week went past quickly. I saw Cary Retlin only a couple of times and they always happened to be me, sitting near a window during class and staring out the window and seeing him sneak off grounds. Friday rolls around and the weather turns sour. I stepped off the bus - yes, I didn't have my license yet - and shoved my gloved hands into my coat pockets. No cars were parked out the front or no noise was coming from my house. I thought it'd be a good thing to be alone for a couple hours until I left for the party held by Alan Grey and everyone got home. I unlocked the front door and kicked off my sneakers. I stopped as I heard giggling. It sounded girlish, so that crossed out my mom and nannie. Karen was at her mom's house and Emily Michelle would be where ever nannie went. That meant one thing - they weren't a family member. I walked to the edge of the stairs and stopped. There, right at the top of the stairs was Sam, shirtless and Stacey, with a skirt and blouse on but with the buttons undone and her shoes in hand. "Sam?" I asked loudly.

They broke apart quickly, both going red in the face. "Kristy!" Sam exclaimed. "What are you doing home so early?" He asked.

I started walking up the stairs. "Ah, school's finished. Is this why I didn't see you during eighth period gym, Stacey?" I asked, smiling sweetly at her. So. That's whose Stacey's being fooling around with. I had heard rumours that she had a 'fuck buddy'. And now I knew it was my own _brother_.

"Kristy!" She quickly started doing her buttons on her blouse up. "I uh… Sam, I'll call you later." She basically fled from the house.

I turned to my older brother, crossing my arms over my chest. "How long?" I asked.

"Since… half way through freshman year." He replied slowly.

"That long?" I asked. I was surprised. They were just rumours after all. "Good for you, Sam." I said, stiffly and walked towards my bedroom.

\-------------

Alan Gray was famous for two things. One, his parties, that he held usually twice a month since sophomore year. And two, for proclaiming his "unedifying love for his Claudie." Yes, Claudia still dated that moron but I had gotten used to it. After all, she was his _Claudie_. Mary Anne had almost fainted in shock at the thought of Stacey and Sam secretly being lovers and in love behind everyone's backs. She then summed it up to be one of the most romantic things she's ever heard. Typical Mary Anne. Claudia had said it was odd, with Stacey's "reputation". Despite what she had said, I had the sneaking suspicion that Claudia knew of Stacey and Sam and what was going on. Hip-hop music played loudly, people were shouting at each other and beer was being sloshed everywhere - a typical Alan Gray party. I kept my eye out for anyone I knew throughout the huge masses of people downstairs.

"Are you looking for Cary Retlin?" Mary Anne asked in my ear.

I turned to her in shock. "Retlin?" I asked back, loudly. You had to shout to be heard. "In his dreams, Mary Anne!" A second later, Mary Anne has disappeared from my side and replaced by Cary. Talk about timing. "Oh, what do you want?" I asked. He really irked me.

He gave me that famous Retlin smirk. "Drink?" He held up a cup of beer. I snatched it from him and skulled it all in one go. I'd need plenty more if I kept running into him. As we move with the crowd, I feel Cary's hand touching my back lightly, as if he'd lose me if he wasn't already so close to me. We found a table set up with more beer and in five minutes I drowned another six. "Whoa, Thomas. Calm down. Do I make you that nervous?"

I glared up at him. Was he like, six foot two now? "No. You don't make me nervous at all." I replied, chewing on the rim of my half-empty seventh beer cup. "I like beer." I lied.

Cary chuckled. "You're an alcoholic in the making." I swigged the rest and picked up another cup. "Maybe I should leave your aura then."

"Maybe you should've realized that ten minutes ago?" I asked. When I realized that he hasn't responded, I follow where his gaze is. Dorianne Wallingford is giving Pete Black a lap dance. Every male in the room has their eyes stuck on Dorianne's chest, which is properly the size of Pamela Anderson's. I snorted. "Goodbye Retlin." I walked away, towards Alan Gray's kitchen. Standing there is Mary Anne and Claudia. "Finally!" I exclaim.

"Why is all the boys heading towards the living room?" Claudia asks me.

"Dorianne Wallingford is giving Pete Black a lap dance." I reply, taking a sip of the beer in my hand. "I think he's actually giving her money." I see Stacey following Shelia Macgregor and Andi Gentles. She catches my eye and gives me a small smile, which I return. It's the first sign of friendship in over a year.

"That's just darn great." Claudia says, taking a sip out of her tequila bottle. Claudia always manages to get her hands on a bottle of tequila when a party is on. I don't like telling Claudia that in half n hour she'll be upstairs with Alan Gray. Alcohol is never a good thing in this town. It turns everyone into sex starved crazy loony who instantly regrets it. "Have you seen Alan?" She asks me.

I shake my head. "No, he must be outside somewhere." I replied. Probably lighting something alight or doing a back flip of the fence. I don't say it allowed. It'd just scare the shit out of Claud, yet again.

Claudia takes another swig at her tequila bottle and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "I guess it's time I go and find him." Mary Anne gives me a look. I get this look every time Claudia says this at a party. "I'll call you both tomorrow." She walks off towards the backdoor, taking another swig of the tequila bottle. Claudia's favourite alcoholic drink is tequila, despite it being her worst enemy in the morning.

"This happens every time." Mary Anne comments. Mary Anne never drinks. I rarely drink as much as I have tonight. Cary Retlin being back within Stoneybrook limits isn't calming my nerves. "She'll never learn."

"I think… think you say this almost every time." I say, rubbing my temple. "I'm going outside to get some air." Mary Anne gives me a small hug and a smile. "See you Monday, Mary Anne." I have to scream at her as the next song is louder than any other all night. I follow Claudia's footsteps to outside. There is hardly anyone in the backyard, just a couple of people making out. Thank god I do not have the pleasure of seeing Claudia and Alan doing anything remotely sexual. I walk along the wet grass and sit on a stray bench. I shiver in the late night coldness and realise somehow, Cary Reltin has ended up next to me. "What are you doing?" I asked, annoyed. Can't he just leave me alone? Ever?

"Just… hanging about." 'Hanging about' must translate 'smoking some pot' because I can smell it. It was like he was sweating the stuff.

"Sure." I say, refusing to look at him. "Why did you come back?" I ask. I realised he never answered my question the other day. I was itching to find out.

"My mother was missing Stoneybrook and she didn't want us transferring until Steig was going to be starting middle school." I wonder if this is a lie.

"Seriously?" I ask, turning to look at him in the eye. He doesn't smirk, but he gives me a slight smile. "I don't believe you."

"Of course you wouldn't. You wouldn't believe me if I said I never did hook up with Cokie Mason." I stared at him. I never forgot, coming back from the summer before ninth grade with a rumour of recently departed Cary Retlin and my number one mortal-enemy Cokie Manson hit third base in Rick Chow's basement. I didn't really know what "third base" meant back then, but something inside of me had hurt when I found that out.

"I could never believe that you didn't either. Nobody was there except you and Cokie." Images of Cokie and Cary making out. Cokie on her knees in front of him. My head started spinning. Everything began to get really hot.

"Hey, Thomas, you alright?" Cary asks. I looked into his eyes. I know he's lying about the Cokie thing. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I leaned over and puked on my shoes.


	2. Ouch, Burn

I woke up to my eyes burning, my throat burning with an odd-sock taste and the realization that I wasn't in my own room. I was in someone else's room, someone who favoured plaid sheets and a lingering smell of pot. I rolled over away from where the sun was coming in and rolled into something warm and hard.

"Morning princess." I heard Cary Retlin drawl. I froze. I was in bed with Cary Retlin? Oh, lord, Jesus, fuck!

"Cary?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes shut. "Am I naked?" My exact idea on last night was fuzzy after I vomited all over my shoes. What if Cary took advantage of that?

Cary laughed. "Do you really think I'd stoop that low?" My eyes bolted open and I was still had clothes on my body. That was a good thing at least.

"I don't know." I said, sitting up. "I'm not the one who hooked up with Cokie Mason and that's as low as it gets." I said coldly.

Cary stared at me. His jaw clenched. "I couldn't take you home and have to explain why you're passed out drunk with vomit all over your feet and smelling like a brewery." He glared at me. "Sorry, if I didn't want you to get into trouble and actually cared what happened to you."

He had a point. I looked down at my lap in embarrassment. "Thank you for that." I said, quietly. I knew that Cary would be holding the "Thank-you" over my head. "What's the time?" I asked.

"Just after eleven." Cary replied. "Do you need a lift home? My mom could give you one." He offered. I shook my head. I didn't want Karen or anyone else at home realize someone other than my regular friends' parents was dropping me off.

"I've got to get to Claudia's. We were meant to hang today." I slowly stood up. My legs felt like jelly. "Where are my shoes?" I asked.

Cary chuckled. "They're down in the laundry, soaking. I can give them to you a different time." He walked me out of his room, down stairs and out to his front porch. "Do you want me to walk you?" He asked, jamming his hands into his pockets.

"No." I sighed. "But thank-you. And…uh… for last night too." I turned around to look at him. Cary Retlin had changed.

/

I managed to walk to Claudia's house just fine except my feet were hot because I had no shoes and I was hung over. Cary Retlin brought up so much old feelings from the past. Things I hadn't thought about since they happened. Like the BSC club disbanding shortly after eighth grade graduation. It was one of the last times I spoke to Stacey - on good terms. I spent the summer baby-sitting at random times, and hanging with Mary-Anne and Dawn, when she visited from California. Dawn grew up so much faster than us. She came back with stories of her wild adventures on the west coast. Her visits became less. The last time I saw Dawn, was the summer after tenth grade. Her friend Sunny's mom had just died and she only spent two weeks here before cutting her visit short and going back. I was alone for three weeks in August will Claudia was in Vermont and Mary-Anne went over to Palo City to visit Dawn. I hadn't seen Jessi since she graduated eighth grade. Apparently she went off to New York to go to a good dance school. Mallory was still at Riverbend. I rang the doorbell and the door flung open. Claudia looked at me. "You look like shit." I couldn't help saying it considering she looked it.

"So do you." She said, standing back and letting me in. "I didn't see you last night after I went looking for Alan. Did you get home okay?" We walked up the stairs to the second level.

"Yeah, I got home okay." I replied as I peered into Janine's room like always. Janine was three years older than us and was in her junior year in college. She was Mr and Mrs Kishi's pride and joy according to Claud because Janine had gotten early acceptance to MIT. I didn't know if they'd be so proud about Claud's idea to defer for a year and go traveling then college. "When did you get home?" I flopped down onto Claud's bed.

"About five minutes before you rocked up. I was making sure that none was home. They would have cracked a shit." She said, her head buried into her closet. "Sometimes, I swear, they wished that they had two Janine's." Claudia's head popped back out. She looked upset but then in a flash a smile appeared. "Oreos or milk duds?"

I sighed. "Milk duds." She tossed the Oreo packet back into the closet and sat down next to me. "I wonder if Mary Anne's up yet."

"Probably." Claudia stared down at her hands. "Probably spent half the night worrying if we were dying in a ditch somewhere."

"Have you ever thought about what happened after middle school?" I looked at Claudia. Out of all the people I knew, Claudia and Mary Anne were the only ones who didn't really change.

"I do. All the time. I thought about it a lot after Dawn's last visit. I just remembering that she grew up so much faster. That she had this life that we couldn't understand. And that when she came back here, it was boring for her. I mean, she didn't really know anyone anymore."

"I always think I've just stayed the same." I said as I looked at Claudia's walls. Paintings that she's done over the years, a portrait of her grandmother, Mimi and lots of photos. I noticed that there was still a few from BSC times but mainly just of the last few years. I looked at Claudia. Perhaps we really hadn't changed.

/

Monday morning was weird. It's always a bit weird after parties, usually because some people have done various activities with others under the influence that they would normally do. Thank god I wasn't one of those girls who ended up on the wall in the third floor boys bathroom. All I kept thinking about was Cary Retlin going to tell everyone about my great vomiting skills on his shoes and that I spent the night in his bed. I didn't tell Claud or Mary Anne. Something about it wanted me to keep it a secret. As I walked down the hallway to my locker, I noticed someone was standing against. "What do you want?"

Cary turned to me. "Feeling better, I see."

I sighed. "What do you want Cary?" I asked him. I wasn't wearing a watch today. It just irked me how he always seemed to snag it off me without realizing.

"To see if your okay. You didn't look to good the last time I saw you."

"I'm fine. Better. You can leave now."

Cary pushed off my locker and started to walk away. He stopped and walked back until he was standing right over the top of me. He leaned down next to my ear. "Next time, I won't be there to help you." He whispered. He stalked off down the hall. I turned to my locker and slammed my head against the cold metal. Despite the dull pain in my head, Cary's words hurt more.

"Anyone home?" I called out as I got home. Silence. Sam's car wasn't in the drive way so I guessed that he and Stacey weren't having a quickie. I walked upstairs to my room. I didn't see Cary for the rest of the day. And the others mentioned that he hadn't been in class all day at lunch. I wondered where he had been. He'd probably been smoking it up out in the car park with Justin Forbes or Price Irving. I opened my bedroom door to see Stacey sitting on the edge of my bed. "How did you get in my house?"

She looked down at her hands, then looked back up and gave a small smile. "I know where the spear key is."

I dropped my bag on the ground. "Then why are you here? Sam isn't home."

"I know. I'm not here to see him. I'm here to see you. We need to talk."

"Talk about what Stacey? We haven't exchanged words since the ninth grade." It felt weird to be talking to her. She was wearing her pristine clean cheerleaders uniform and I was wearing sneakers, a t-shirt and jeans. "Last time I checked, we had nothing left to talk about."

"It's about you keeping… what you saw the other day a secret." She looked at the picture of Claudia, Mary Anne and I at last years winter formal dance. "Sam and I have kept it quite for a long time now and we just need…you too keep it quite too."

"Are you trying to blackmail me?"

"No. I'm just asking you to refrain telling other people. That's all. No blackmail. Just please, for me and our old friendship, to keep it a secret." Stacey looked like she was going to cry.

"Okay. I will. But why? Why am I keeping this a secret?"

Stacey stood up, brushing her skirt. "Because, Sam and I, we have always just wanted this private thing that none in school had to think about. I just didn't want anyone judging us." She smiled. "Thanks Kristy. You're a good sister and friend." She walked out. I stared at myself in my mirror. I frowned. I turned around and walked out slamming the door.

/

I walked. I walked to Stoneybrook Middle School. I had no idea why but I did. It was so weird being back here. I had been back about five times since I had graduated. Next year David Michael and Karen would be graduating middle school. David Michael went to this school, just like Sam, Charlie and I did. It was weird thinking that soon none of us would be attending this school. Emily Michelle would probably follow Karen and Andrew's steps and go to Stoneybrook Academy.

"You're a bit too old to still go here."

I whirled around. Cary Retlin stood five feet away. "You look like an over grown sixth grader."

"At least your around their height." He walked closer. "Odd that it wasn't so long ago, we were starting our last year here."

"Yeah. It feels weird that this time next year I'm going to be in college."

"College… interested in any?"

"Michigan State but like any parents, Yale or Harvard will be nice."

"My parents will just be happy if anything would accept me." He laughed. "Your not jumping down my throat for talking to you. Are you sick?"

I snorted. "You just caught me in a good mood for once."

"You were in a good mood on Friday night."

"I was drunk. Everyone gets in a good mood when they drink." I pulled my jacket in tightly. "It's proberly the only reason I was talking to you."

"Ouch. That hurt." He looked at his watch. "I have to go. Are you going to Austin's this weekend?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know yet." I was going but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Well, I just might see you there, Thomas." I watched him walk away. I just had a normal conversation with Cary Retlin.


	3. Memory Loss

"Did you hear Mallory's coming back?" Claud asked as she sat down at our table.

"Why would she be coming back?" Mary Anne asked her as she poked her lunch. Mary Anne still found the school's lunch disgusting and believed it really wasn't food.

"I heard that she got expelled, or asked to leave. Something about getting caught on campus smoking or something like that." Mallory had turned from nice, innocent and good girl to smoking, nasty, lying snot nosed brat. And I was being nice.

"Who'd you hear that from?" I asked.

"Lauren Hoffman. She heard it from Byron Pike yesterday during the drama club's meeting."

"You really believe Lauren Hoffman?" I have despised Lauren Hoffman since the beginning of time but you couldn't really believe anything that came out of her mouth. She had turned into the school's gossip queen.

"Yes I do!" Claudia said, throwing her plastic fork down onto her tray. "You don't think that Mallory wouldn't get expelled? Even though she's done a complete one-eighty?"

"We should go by the Pike house." Mary Anne piped up. Claudia and I turned to her. "After school. We were meant to hang out at Claud's but we can now check out whether or not Mallory's really been expelled."

Claudia smirked at me. "That's a great idea." I said turning back to where I was originally looking. I could see the back of Cary Retlin's head. "How are we going to be subtle about snooping around their house?" The Pike family has eight children. "It's not like someone isn't going to notice us just looking through their front windows."

"Don't worry." Claudia said, leaning forward and patting my hand. "It will be all sweet."

/

"All sweet?" Mary Anne asked Claudia as we stood behind some bushes a couple of houses away from the Pike's. "The Pike triplets are playing basketball on their driveway!"

"They're shirtless too!" Claudia exclaimed. Yes, the Pike triplets were playing shirtless basketball. Despite only being ninth graders the Pike boys had seemed to have already hit the big time at SHS. I had to admit, they were pretty cute and they were good at basketball. All three of them were already on the basketball team. "Damn, I never knew that those boys would turn out to be such hotties."

I whacked Claudia's arm. "You used to baby sit them!"

Claudia clutched her arm, mouth open. "I never knew that they would turn out to be that good looking!"

"Mary Anne, help me out." I turned to Mary Anne, who like Claudia, was fixated on the Pike triplets. "God! Can the two of you pay attention? We're supposed to be looking for Mallory."

"I don't see her." Mary Anne said, checking her watch. "Do you think we should just walk up to her front door and see if she's home?"

I shook my head. That would be too obvious we were snooping. I hadn't been to the Pike house since the BSC disbanded and I hadn't exactly kept in contact with Mallory. The last time I saw her was early on in the summer. "No, it'd be weird if we just rocked up." I stood up. "What do you guys want to do now?"

Mary Anne shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really want to go home." She said in a quiet voice. I looked at Claudia. We both knew the Spier-Schafer household was tense lately.

"We can go over to mine." Claudia offered. "No one will be home." We stood up and began to walk down the street. It was weird to think that only four years ago Mary Anne's family lost their house and had to move into their converted barn. I think maybe that had something to do with what was going on now. "Whose going to Austin's this weekend?" She asked as we turned into Bradford Court. Nostalgia hit me. I hadn't lived here in almost five years and until we became friends with Claudia again, I didn't even step foot in the street for two years. Lately, all I've been thinking is what has happened in the last four years.

"I am." I replied, remembering that Cary asked me yesterday if I was. "Are you, Mary Anne?"

Mary Anne shrugged. "If I'm allowed out of the house and if I don't have heaps of homework." She said. "Dawn called last night. She's thinking about spending Christmas break here this year."

"The first in almost three years, am I right?" Claud asked as we made our way up her front stoop. "Wow, I can't believe I haven't seen Dawn in that long." She unlocked the front door. I realized soon it would be four years since Claud's grandma, Mimi died. It was weird thinking that I used to come here every Monday, Wednesday and Friday like clockwork to hold the BSC meetings. We made our way upstairs, past Janine's room which looked dark and empty to Claud's room. "Are we hungry?" She asked, dropping her bag onto the ground.

"Sure." I replied as I sat down in the director's chair. When we held meetings, I used to think that this seat made me the most important because everyone would turn to look at me. Now it held no importance. Claud ducked into her closet. I looked over at Mary Anne who sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you excited about Dawn coming for a visit?" I asked her.

Mary Anne shrugged. "I don't know. I know I should be, but… she really hasn't been in my life since she moved back in the eighth grade. I don't really know her anymore." She started playing with her hands. "Sharon is happy that both Jeff and Dawn are coming back. It's like; she found out she won the lottery. I haven't seen her that happy since the last time they visited."

Claud walked back out of her closet holding a bag of Oreos and a box of milk duds. "I found food."

"Good, I'm hungry." I said as Claud tossed the bag of Oreos at me. "You know, I never expected to be like this in high school."

"Me either." Mary Anne said, moving more onto the bed. "I had no idea what to expect."

"I thought we'd all be in the BSC until graduation of high school. That'd we all still be friends. That we'd be recruiting 13 year olds after a while..." I said, trailing off. But of course none of that came true.

"Same. I thought that'd we all stick together when high school came around. But sometimes nothing is what you want it to be." Claud said. "I never expected to be still dating Alan."

"I can't believe you even dated him in the beginning!" I exclaimed, giggling. "I was totally shocked when you did!"

"I was too!" Claud said. "It shocked me."

"I thought Logan and I were going to be together forever." Mary Anne piped up. "Just because of how serious our relationship was for 13 year olds."

"Logan was your first love, right?" I asked.

"Yes, I think so. I still loved him a long time after."

"I think Alan is my first love." Claud said, looking at the framed photo of her and Alan. "Every time I see him, he makes me happy. Still. And it feels…good." I thought about my own love life. There was Bart Taylor… we almost got serious but I decided I wasn't ready for a serious relationship at 13. I had kissed a few boys at parties in high school, but other than that, there was nothing. "I may have good news."

"What is it?" Mary Anne asked.

"I applied to NYU. Not for next year, but the year after. I'm looking at Columbia as well." Claud announced.

"That's great! At least your parents won't be hounding you to apply to anything." Mary Anne said. "Sharon doesn't really give any input to the whole college thing. My dad is helping me apply to Northwestern, Brown and Sarah Lawrence. Dawn's apparently applying for Sarah Lawrence as well."

"The last time I saw Dawn, I felt like she was growing up so much faster than us." I said. "I always felt like, when she left for California, she was leaving us for good." I looked up at Mary Anne. She looked sad. "I felt like that when everyone left us half way through the eighth grade. I felt like we were being abounded."

"I felt like that when Stacey and I stopped being friends." Claudia said. "I felt like everything that I had known for two years had disappeared."

I heard a sniffle from Mary Anne. I got up and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her. "Mary Anne, why are you crying?" I asked her.

"What if we never stayed friends during high school?" She said between sobs. "I think about it and it makes me sad." Claudia sat on the other side of her. We didn't say anything for the rest of the afternoon.

/

Austin's party starts around 10pm on Saturday night. It's a bit like Alan Grey's party the weekend before but everyone seems more of their face this time, then last. There is a thick grey haze and it reeks of a mixture of rum, bourbon and beer. I had spent the afternoon over at Claudia's, with Mary Anne getting ready. I had promised Claud on Wednesday that she'd decide what I'm wearing. I was no regretting it as we walked through Austin Bentley's lounge room. I feel like everyone can see my underwear as I walked because of how short this dress is.

"Wow, everyone's here." Mary Anne says as we find a spot to stand. "Including the Pike triplets."

"Great, are you two going to start gawking again?" I asked.

Mary Anne's mouth hanged open. "I didn't gawk." She said, unconvincingly. "I'm not lying!" She exclaimed before snatching Claudia's bottle of tequila and taking a large sip. "How can you drink that stuff? It tastes like oil!"

Claudia laughed. "I pretend it tastes like something nicer." She said. "I can't see Alan anywhere. I hope he's not upstairs with Cary Retlin smoking pot."

"Cary smokes pot?" Mary Anne asked. "Oh my! Did you know that, Kristy?"

I shrugged. "I don't care. Cary Retlin can do whatever he likes." I said, sipping out of vodka double black I was drinking. "I'm not his baby-sitter."

Claudia screamed. "Sorry. I think I just Alan. I'll see you later."

Mary Anne and I hung out a little while longer before she decided to go home. "I better go soon before my dad rocks up with the entire police department." She said. She leaned close. "Do I smell like I've been drinking?"

I sniffed. "Nope. Be home safe!" Mary Anne gave me a hug and left.

"Jesus, every time I see you at a party you're by yourself." I didn't need to look behind me to see who it was.

"Yeah, I'm just a loner who sits in the corner by themselves at a party." I watched his hand lean against the wall in front of me. I could smell pot and whiskey. I could feel his breath on my neck. "I see you're by yourself as well."

"Alan got preoccupied. She mentioned you were down here." Thanks, Claud. I felt his left hand on my hip. "I thought you could do with some company."

I closed my eyes. Everything seemed to be going slow. And closing in. "What are you doing?" I asked. I felt his hand move upwards.

"You don't have a boyfriend."

"So?" What the hell was he playing at? I felt myself spin around. This was the closet I had ever been to Cary. I shook slightly. His hand moved to my lower back, pulling me even closer, before I felt his lips crash down onto mine. Cary Retlin. Was. Kissing me. Had the world stopped and spun the other way? What was I doing? I thought as I started to kiss him back. He pushed me back into the wall, as his lips moved down my jaw, to my neck. "Stop…" I said hoarsely. "Please, just…" I moaned slightly as I felt a twinge of pain. This had to stop. "Fuck!" I exclaimed as I pushed him off me. "What the hell are you playing at?" I shouted at him. He didn't say anything. Either did I was I left Austin Bentley's house and began to run down the street towards my house. I didn't care if it had just started raining.

I wanted to get as far away as possible.


	4. Sandbox

I was going to kill Cary Retlin. I had a notice purple-blue hickey on my neck. I had left my hair down in attempt to hide it as my foundation didn't match the color of my neck. The funny thing about a school like Stoneybrook High School, it's not that hard to hide from someone. After Austin's party, I shut myself in my room alone, thinking about what had happened. I put it down to the fact that he was drinking, and most likely stoned. I hadn't told Mary Anne or Claudia. I doubted that I ever would. But walking into school first thing Monday morning, I saw someone else who I didn't want to see.

"Oh my lord, so she's really back." Claudia said, as she fell into step with me.

"Yeah she is." Mallory Pike didn't look like the nice, level-headed eleven year old I knew before she went to boarding school, instead she looked like she belonged to a Slipknot or some other heavy metal band concert. "She looks like she's changed a lot."

"Loads. How was the rest of Austin's party?" She said, raising her eyebrow and smiling at me.

"I uh... left early. Tired." I wasn't exactly in the mood to tell Claudia that her moment of match-maker between Cary and I had failed.

Claudia stared at me. "Huh? You were 'tired'?" She asked. She peered at my neck. "What is that?" She exclaimed.

"Yes, I was tired and it's nothing. Emily Michelle threw a softball at my neck. I stayed up late the night before doing all of my homework." I had a feeling Claudia wasn't believing me, about both stories. Cary had said that she was the one who sent him down to her and I think she knew Emily Michelle wouldn't throw a softball at anyone.

Claudia stared at me. "Uh huh. Sure, sure. I, on the other hand, had an amazing time at Austin's and I started a new painting over the weekend."

"Really? What kind this time?" Claudia is a great artist. I have two of her works on my walls.

"I don't know. I was looking at the lime green paint and just felt the compulsion to whack it on my brand new canvas." Claudia sighed. "Remember four years ago?" She said, still looking up ahead where Mallory Pike was getting escorted around by some freshman kid.

Did I remember four years ago? Of course I did. It was eighth grade and we were still in the BSC. It was our last year of SMS. Jessi and Mallory were in the sixth grade. Everything back then seemed simple. I nodded. "Eighth grade."

"And now we're eight months away from graduating." Claudia said. "Scary how fast time flies."

I nodded in agreement again. It was scary alright.

#!

I didn't see Cary all day. Not even playing hooky during my English class like I normally see him do. Not that I didn't care anyway. Cary Retlin didn't even matter to me. Mary Anne had asked too, what was the purple mark on my neck. I don't know if either really believed me. I walked up the stairs to David Michael standing at the top.

"Karen won't get out of the bathroom." He said, hands on his hips. "She's been in there for forty-five minutes!"

I sighed. I raised my fist and banged on the door. "Karen! What are you doing?"

"Nothing! Leave me alone!" She screeched back. "Go away!"

"Karen, you can't hog the bathroom like this all the time." Karen is thirteen going on twenty-five sometimes. Some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is just disgusting and not something I want to hear coming from my thirteen year old step-sister. "Karen, I'm a expert at picking locks you know so if you don't open up, guess what?"

The bathroom door flings open. "Can't you just leave me alone?" Karen asks. Her eyelids are covered in bright purple eye shadow. Underneath her eyes are big black streaks of eye-liner. To top it all off, her cheeks were bright red and half of her hair was in massive curls.

"You look like a clown!" David Michael exclaimed, laughing.

I stared at Karen. "What are you doing to yourself?" I asked. I tried to not sound so mean but I can't help it. She looks ridiculous.

"I'm copying the new looks out of Vogue." She said, her head tilted high. I guess her confidence isn't wavering.

"Vogue?" I repeat.

Karen disappears into the bathroom and returns with a open copy of Vogue. "Daddy said I could have one magazine for doing all my jobs last week." I can't believe Watson is letting Karen read Vogue at thirteen. I wasn't reading Vogue at thirteen but I was completely different to Karen. I was into sports and dirt. I take a better look at what she's attempting to copy. If Karen had finished her hair and dressed similar to the model in the picture, she'd look almost like it.

"Wow." I said. "Just let David Michael go to the bathroom and then you can finish, okay?" I suggest to her.

Karen rolled her eyes and exited the bathroom. She's wearing an old, too-small Krusher T-shirt and her Stoneybrook Academy skirt. I haven't seen a Krusher shirt in years. "Fine, there you go, dog-breath."

David Michael sticks his tongue out as he walked past. "Thanks, clown face." Karen and David Michael are the same age but go to different schools. David Michael is the same age as Karen but Karen skipped ahead a grade. When report cards come out, Karen loves to point that out. In the past year, Karen's changed a lot. "Thanks, Kristy."

I walk down the hallway towards my room. Everyone's really changed in the past four years. It's almost scary. Emily Michelle isn't two and a half anymore. Andrew isn't quiet and shy and hides behind his sister. Karen is turning into a boy-crazy, fashion obsessed girl like Claudia and Stacey were like when I was around her age. David Michael has lost interest in softball instead he wants to be a footballer. Sam is almost twenty and is working at Watson's firm until next year, when he'll start at Brown. Charlie is still at college and "living it up" as he told me last time he was here. I flop down onto my bed. Have I changed in the past for years? Physically, I haven't grown, I still wear a size six on my feat and I have long brown hair still, that I wear up in a ponytail. The afternoon sun casts weird shadows through my curtains and I roll over and close my eyes.

…...

"Daydreaming?"

I look up, through the mirror and see Mallory Pike standing behind me. Her hair is still the same length, she's still got the raccoon eyes from the day before and she's wearing a Metallica T-shirt. She's still got her glasses but her braces are gone. "Yeah." I said, feeling stupid for not coming up with anything good to say. I narrow my eyes when I look at her hands and see a lighter in one, and a cigarette in the other. "Aren't you meant to be in fourth period?"

"Aren't you?" She snapped back. She lit her cigarette.

"How long have you been smoking?" I asked as Mallory moves from behind me to down the other end of the basin, near the window.

"Eighth grade? Summer before? I don't know. It's been a long time." She exhaled and took another drag. "How is life, Thomas?" Mallory asked, a little glint is in her eye. Something, I don't trust.

"It's been good." I said.

"So, it's you, Mary Anne and Claudia now. What happened to everyone else?"

I look down at my bathroom pass. Mr Richards is subbing for my regular English teacher, so he's not really going to care if I'm missing for too long I hope. "Abby is a member of the Volleyball team and the soccer team, so she usually sits with them. Dawn still lives in California. And Stacey is a cheerleader." Mallory would've had to known that last fact. Yesterday between sixth and seventh period, the cheerleaders showed us a "preview" of what's to come at homecoming, right in the middle of the hallway. Something about trying to keep school spirit together.

"What about Jessi? I haven't seen her yet."

My eyes widen a little bit. Mallory doesn't know that Jessi lives in New York and goes to a special dance school? Had Mallory really lost everyone's friendships? "You don't know?" I asked. Seriously, is she trying to pull my strings? But Mallory keeps looking at me like she hasn't got a clue. "Jessi and her family live in New York. Jessi left after eighth grade and she now goes to a dance school in Manhattan." I left out the fact that Jessi sometimes sends me emails, updating me every few months. I knew that Claudia and Mary Anne still spoke to her too. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"

Mallory looked down at the dirty ground. I wonder if she's used to public high schooling yet. "End of seventh grade? Summer after that?" Mallory sounds unsure. "Do you talk to her a lot?"

I briefly look away, and stare at the graffiti that says that Dori Wallingford is a skanky hoe. "No, not really. My mom gets a Christmas card every year from them though." I'm not lying about the last part, but I still feel guilty. Mallory has lost everyone that used to be in her life, but I'm not about to step up and start rebuilding our friendship. I push off the counter and pick up the bathroom pass. "I better get back." I said as I moved towards the door. I turn around and look back. Mallory's lighting up another cigarette.

She had changed a lot.

…...

I'm spending my afternoon lying on bed rather than doing my only piece of homework that I haven't done. It's only reading five chapters of the book we're covering in English but I can't be bothered. Mallory's lack of concern about her once best friend irks me and what's even worse is that I have one new message from Jessi Ramsey sitting in my email account. I'm wondering if I should tell her that Mallory's back. If I don't, someone else will. I'm ignoring the yelling from downstairs. David Michael is yelling at Karen about the television, ignoring the fact that there is more than one television in the house that isn't being used but because Karen wants that television, he isn't budging. I can hear Andrew yelling at someone, Timmy Hsu?, about whose skateboard or skateboarder is better. I have the increasing urge to open my door and scream, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" but they're eleven, twelve and thirteen years old and Karen would probably tattle to her daddy. And I'm not in the mood to have an argument with anyone. The doorbell rings and straight away the yelling stops, which is replaced with elephant sized footsteps running towards the front door. Karen must answer the door because she introduces herself. "I'm Karen Brewer and I'm thirteen." Karen's flirting at whoever was at the door. I turn and roll to face the other way. I hear footsteps going up the stairs and along the hall. I hope it's not anyone to visit me. I'm just not in the mood. I close my eyes and pretend that I'm asleep. My door opens and closes and then extra weight is added to my bed.

"I know you're not asleep."

I inwardly groan. "What are you doing here?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed. Maybe if I really do fall asleep, he'll leave.

"You looked down today." Cary said, moving to kick his shoes off. They drop to the ground loudly. "I was wondering if it was because of what happened at Austin's party."

I open my eyes and roll over to face him. "No. It's not because of you, today."

Cary's hand reaches out and pushes a strand of hair out of my eyes. "Do you want to tell me?"

Tell him that Mallory Pike's return to my life has changed it. That he's return changed it. "It" is the normality in my life. Normality that I want to keep. "Things keep happening in my life that isn't part of the normality."

Cary looks down towards the edge of the bed. "Is that including me?"

"Yes! You weren't in my life anymore and I thought you were never coming back."

"Did it hurt to hear what happened between Cokie and me?"

"Yes. I felt like a fool to ever think you'd like me. I used to say to everyone that I hated you, when deep down I really liked you. I don't know why though. You were always mean to me."

Cary laughs. "They always say that boys are mean to the girls that they like."

"Yes but you also stole my watch. You still do!"

"I love your reaction when you find out it's missing." Cary grabs my waist and pulls me closer. "I love it when you get angry." Cary kisses me, pulling me on top of him. I groan a little when he nibbles at my bottom lip. I pull back a few moments later, straddling him. "Do you know how long I've wanted to be with you?" He kisses me again. His hands moving up my stomach on the inside of my shirt. I run my fingers through his hair as his lips leave mine and make their way down my neck to where the hickey is.

"Stop." My voice is hoarse. Sweat is starting to form on my forehead and I have an increasing urge to start ripping some clothes off. I push him away, back underneath me and into the pillows. My eyes are glued to his and it's scaring me. I lift my hands and grab the edge of my T-shirt and lift it over my head. I don't exactly have a large chest. Cary stares up at me as I reach around and un-clip my bra. I've never been naked in front of a boy before. In a second, I'm underneath him and clothes are flying.

I wake up covered in sweat and my hair mattered on my forehead. I'm clothed, Cary's nowhere in sight and it's 4:07am. I sit up, pushing my cover off me. I pick the pillow next to me and slam it down onto my bed. Cary Retlin was invading everything!

I really needed a cold shower.

…...

It was like a case of speak of the devil and he shall appear. Cary was leaning against my locker when I walked towards it. "What do you want?" I snap at him. I'm not in the greatest mood because of the dream and the fact I couldn't get back to sleep without picturing Cary and I getting it on.

He smiles and steps forward. "You."

I stop. "What?"

"I need help with my Social Science homework. I didn't do it at my last school and I asked around and apparently, you've got the highest marks in the grade." He said as I opened my locker. There is a piece of paper with Mary Anne's neat cursive writing on it. I quickly grab it and shove it in my pocket.

"So? You actually want me to help you? Why should I?" I know I'm being spiteful, but I can't be around him. Especially if I want the dreams to go.

"Because you're a nice, concerned fellow student who doesn't want someone else to fail when they know they could've lended a hand."

I raise my eyebrow at the word 'nice'. I pull out my maths and biology books out of my locker. I sigh. "Fine. My house, this afternoon." I said as I shut my locker.

Cary smiled. "Thanks Kristy." He said before turning and walking down the hallway.

I stare. I've just become Cary Retlin's tutor.

/

Cary catches the bus home with me after school. We don't say much to each other. We get off the bus, a couple of houses down from mine. He follows me as we walk down the side walk. Stoneybrook High gets out before Stoneybrook Day or Stoneybrook Academy. Mom's or Watson's car isn't in and either is the pink clinker which belongs to Nannie. I silently hope Sam's isn't in the garage. I don't know what I would do if Cary knew about Sam and Stacey's secret relationship. I've kept her promise of keeping it quiet. "Do you want a drink?" I asked as I let us in.

Cary shook his head. "No thanks."

I lead him up the stairs. The house isn't usually this quiet expect for this time of the afternoon before anyone gets home. Karen and Andrew won't get home until 3:45 and David Michael will be home just after 3:15. "We'll study in my room. So when everyone gets home, they won't annoy us." I open my bedroom door and pray that I haven't left anything embarrassing out like Claudia does. Her floor has become her underwear drawer.

"Are you still in softball?" Cary asked, looking at posters I have on my wall. I still have a few from years ago, when I was a fanatic.

I shrug. "I still watch it during the season and when the kids are playing, I sometimes join them."

Cary moves and looks at the shelf above my desk. There is six photographs framed. Three are of Claudia, Mary Anne and I from the last couple of summers. One is from last years winter formal dance of us three. One is of the BSC at it's fullest and one is of my family, last Christmas. "You still have a photo of the BSC?" He looks at me strange.

"It's..." I stop. I don't know why I do. I've had it framed from when we took it but I've kept it up all this time and I don't know why.

"Sentimental." Cary supplied. "Reminds you of the old days."

Funnily enough, I've forgotten it even existed until Cary mentioned it. I hold up my Social Studies book. "Study?" We settle down on my floor and I cover everything that we've been learning since last semester. I give him a copy of my notes from last semester as well. It's one of the only times we've actually getting along with out sniping insults at each other. I stand up and stretch. "My foot is dead." I said, stamping on it.

Cary stands, towering over me. "My hand hurts."

"That's what happens when you do some work." I said, smiling. Cary smiles back. A second later, I've been lifted up onto my desk and we're kissing. This time I don't tell him to stop. He pulls away. "What are we doing?" I asked, in a hoarse voice.

Cary's hands are still on my waist and he's staring at the hickey on my neck. "I don't know. I just have this constant urge."

"A constant urge" of what, I don't want to know about. "I don't know either." I said as Cary's found the hickey and it feels like he's trying to make it bigger. "It just feels..." I moan as Cary bits hard down on my neck.

"Natural." He supplied. Cary pulls away. "I feel like I never want to stop."

I look up at him. "Me neither."


	5. Dark on Fire

It's been one week since the tutoring session and I've seen Cary four times. We haven't spoken one word to each other and it's just left me more confused. Had I done something wrong? I still hadn't told Claudia or Mary Anne. I didn't know how I was going to tell them. How are you exactly meant to tell your best friends that you've been making out with your number one mortal enemy? I hadn't expected Alan Grey to be standing in front of my locker first thing in the morning. "What do you want?" I asked him as I pushed him out of my way.

Alan laughed and scratched the back of his head. He was nervous for some reason. "I need your help." He said. "I'm thinking of surprising Claudia with a present. Something I haven't given her before. I want to give her something out a reason behind it."

I spun the dial. "You really think that I'm the best person that you should be asking about a present for Claudia. Claudia and I are polar opposites when it comes to interests."

"But you've known Claudia for ages, for years."

"Still doesn't mean that I'm into the same things as she is. You know that."

"What am I meant to do?" He whined.

I paused. I felt bad. Alan had been Claudia's boyfriend for four years and she was happy. Why was I holding onto a immature grudge? I closed my locker and turned to him. "Ask Mary Anne. She's great when it comes to gifts."

Alan broke out into a laugh. "Thank you, Kristy Thomas!" He shouted and began to walk away. He stopped and walked back and leaned in close. "By the way, I know everything." He whispered for taking off again.

I stood there, blood rushing to my head. Cary told Alan? Cary told Alan what happened between us? I hadn't even told my best friends. What if Alan was going to tell Claudia? Oh my gosh! I screamed in frustration. People around me stopped and stared at me. "What?" I sneered at Justin Forbes as I walked off.

/

It was study hall and today it was in the library. Three classes were jammed packed into the one library and the teachers seemed to not care about the chaos that was starting to ensure. Mary Anne was elbow deep in her World History oral project and Claudia had gone up to the art room, so it left me with nothing to do as I had finished all of my projects and homework. I walked around the library, occasionally taking a book off the shelf and flicked through it. I wandered around aimlessly until I stopped. Cary was standing in the biology section with a open book in his hand, reading. I stood there awkwardly, staring at him. What I was I doing? I wanted to slap myself silly.

Cary looked up and smiled. "Bored?" He asked.

I moved forward. "Yeah, I have nothing to do really." I pointed to the book in his hand. "Your in biology?"

Cary laughed. "No, I'm not smart enough for that. I just find it interesting to read about. That's all." He closed the book and placed it back onto the shelf. "So..."

"So..." I repeated. It felt awkward. The last time we saw each other, alone, ended us making out on my desk. "This is awkward." Thank you for stating the obvious, captain obvious!

"I know." Cary said. "I don't think there has been this much silence between us ever."

Middle school Cary and Kristy used to fight like cat and dog. High school Cary and Kristy can't even look at each other. "I don't know what makes it so weird." Except for the fact we keep making out with each other. Except for the fact that there is this weird, awkward silence between us. Except for the fact we're meant to hate each other.

Cary grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. "It doesn't have to be awkward..." What was he hinting? That we actually start dating? Oh my, would my friends laugh at me then definitely. "But for years you've been saying you hated him and now you're going out with him?"

I looked up at him. "What do you mean it doesn't have to be awkward?" I asked. I couldn't help but smile.

Cary smirked and raised his eyebrow. "I suggest that... we you know..."

I bit my lip. "Are you asking me out?" I asked. I felt another smile forming on my face. I am smiling because Cary Retlin is about to ask me out. I need someone to slap me.

"I might be." He said, letting out a laugh. "No, I'm going to be a man and ask straight up. Kristin Thomas, will you go out with me?"

I frowned and punched him in the arm. "As long as you don't ever call me Kristin again."

/

I had gotten out of social science early and I was sitting at our usual lunch table alone. That's when it hit me. I am going out with Cary Retlin. I am Cary Retlin's girlfriend. What have I done with my sanity? Am I dreaming? Have I lost my marbles? Am I going into a mental hospital any time soon?

"Earth to Kristy!" Claudia said as she sat down in front of me. "What's wrong?" She asked, taking a bite of her lunch. "You look like you saw, like, Mrs Goldstein and Mr George making out. That's the only thing I could think of that would make you have a face like that."

I looked up at Claudia. She has been dating Alan Grey for years and before that, they kind of hated each other. Now they were most likely to be our prom king and queen. They worked out just fine. "Claudia." I said.

She stopped chewing and looked at me. "Are you pregnant!" She exclaimed, throwing her fork on her tray.

"No!"

"Good!"

"I'm going out with Cary Retlin!"

Claudia stared at me. "What?" She slammed her hands on the table. "You're going out with who?"

"Cary Retlin?" Claudia sat in her chair stunned.

"What's with you two?" Mary Anne asked as she sat down next to me.

"Kristy's going out with Cary." Claudia said, without taking her eyes off me.

Mary Anne turned to me. "Is that true, Kristy?"

"I...I...It might be?" I squeaked as I turned towards Mary Anne.

Mary Anne squealed. "Oh my god! I always hoped you two would get together!" She clapped her hands.

I stared at Mary Anne. "What?" I asked. "You thought what?"

"How did this happen? Who asked who out? When?" Claudia asked, her eyes were wide and looked kind of crazy. This is not the reaction I thought was going to happen.

"Um, I don't know. He did. In study hall in the library."

"I wonder if Alan knew he was going to do this. I can't believe you have a boyfriend, Kristy!"

"Thanks." I heard a sniff. "Are you crying, Mary Anne?" I asked, as I turned to her.

Mary Anne eyes were red-rimmed. "No!"

/

Sam's car is in the driveway when I get home. Watson and Mom's isn't which makes me feel a little weird. I'm about to interrupt Sam and Stacey's "special time". I saw Cary briefly after classes. It was still a little awkward, probably thanks to Claud and Mary Anne who seemed to hover and kept giggling, but something seems natural. I open the front door and the house is silent. I don't hear any giggling – the usual signal that Stacey and Sam are both here. I kick my shoes off and walk towards the stairs. Maybe it's just Sam whose home. I'm pretty sure I had seen Stacey standing out the front of the school as I left. I open my bedroom door and drop my bag. I flick my computer screen on and my email is still open. Jessi's email is still unread. Just because of Mallory said, I couldn't be rude and not reply to her. Jessi and I were on way better terms than I was with a lot of the ex-BSC members, including Abby, who I was close with before high school.

Hey Kristy!

How's everything in Stoneybrook? How's senior year treating you so far? Are you excited? You're graduating high school soon! It sounds exciting to me anyway! New York is amazing this time of the year, like always. Central Park reminds me so much of Stoneybrook, especially all the fallen leaves. I miss it. School's okay. Tenth grade isn't exactly what I thought it might be like. I was hoping it was going to be a little more easier than last year but I guess not. The level of intensity is so high, I can barely manage it sometimes! Sometimes, I wish I just stayed at my old dance school out at Stamford. You should see Squirt now! He's gotten so big! He's just one year away from starting kindergarten! Can you believe that? Becca's in the seventh grade now. I remember what it was like being her age. I remember just wanting to be twelve so bad, because I thought it was going to make me sooo grown up. Hahaha at myself for back then. How's everyone? How's Mary Anne and Claud? Are Claud and Alan Grey still going out? Wow, they will have been going out for four years sometime next year, hey? Jeez, time flies. I miss everyone so much. I think I heard Mom and Dad talking about coming to visit for Christmas. Aunt Cecilia still lives there, so, I think Mom wants to spend Christmas out there this year. We should definitely catch up if we do. I gotta go and do some homework now. Write back soon, much love, Jessi.

I sat at my computer. Jessi visiting at Christmas time? I wonder what would happen if she saw Mallory. Would they return to being best friends? I knew Jessi was friends with some girl named Alicia, and I'm pretty sure she was now Jessi's best friend. It was so weird how Jessi and Mallory turned out so different. Both of them had so much in common and now I bet they couldn't even carry a conversation.

Hey Jessi

Everything's good out here. I've got so much to tell you... Starters, I'm now going out with Cary Retlin... Yeah I know, left field much. He asked me out today during study hall. If you do come out, I'll tell you the full story. I think I could write a novel with that story. Secondly... Mallory's back. Sophomore at SHS as of last Monday. Rumor mill is that she got kicked out of her boarding school. She and I had some kind of run in the bathroom and she told me she hasn't talked to you since the summer after seventh grade? I'm pretty sure that's when she told me. She's not the Mallory we grew up with. I don't even know if she still writes. I've heard she's been hanging out with all the burn outs, you know, Chris Brooks and Noah Fein, yeah they aren't the best people to hang out with, or I've heard. Ah, I miss Squirt. I bet he's just as cute as when I last saw him. Wow, Becca's 12? That means most of our old charges are about that age and almost ready to graduate middle school! That makes me feel a bit older... I've picked out a few colleges, I'm pretty deadset on Michigan State. I hope I get in. Mary Anne and Claudia are great. Alan and Claudia are still together, I can't believe it as well. I'm pretty sure it's four years in May next year. Claudia and him are both applying to all the same schools so they can be together. I bet they end up married and being our prom king and queen. Well, I'm going to go, talk later! Kristy.

/

Mallory Pike is suspended Friday morning for being caught smoking pot with Chris Brooks and Noah Fein outside the science labs on Thursday afternoon. That was a speak of the devil case, especially after the email I sent Jessi back. I find out as I'm walking past Janet O'Neal and Rachel Robinson towards first period. I couldn't help but snigger a little bit after I heard. I really don't feel sorry for her, I feel sorry for her parents for having to put up with her. I've never been in a relationship before, so I'm not used to Cary being with me every second. As I walk towards our usual table, I notice that I'm going to be the last one to arrive, Mary Anne, Claud, Alan and Cary are all at our table. "Did you hear about Mallory?" I asked as I sat down next to Cary.

Claudia nodded, swallowing. "Yep. I heard Janet O'Neal and Rachel Robinson basically announce it to everyone in the bathroom this morning."

I felt Cary's hand rest on my knee. I froze. His hand felt like it was on fire. I felt an urge to grab him and... but I blinked and the urge went away. His hand and the heat I was feeling from it, didn't. "Do you know how long she got suspended for?"

"Two weeks and I heard she has to attend some therapy sessions as well."

"I can't believe Mallory Pike smokes pot." Mary Anne said, frowning. "I mean, I know people do it, but I can't believe she'd do it, you know?"

"I know, can you imagine how much trouble she's going to get in with her parents?" Claudia asked. "Getting kicked out of boarding school and now this, dude, if this was me, I'd be dead already for just getting kicked out boarding school."

"Same. You could you imagine what my dad would do to me if I ever did that?" Mary Anne asked.

I laughed. "Your dad would probably just makes you wear pig-tails and make your room pink again."

Mary Anne paled. "Please no!"

"So!" Alan said, interrupting. "A little birdy told me Cokie Mason's having another party this weekend!" Great. Claudia was dragging me to another party, so she could ditch me for tequila and Alan. I had heard about Cokie's already, I was just hoping nobody was going to mention it.

"Are we going?" Mary Anne asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and turned to Cary. "Are you going?" I asked quietly.

He smiled and shrugged. "Only if you are." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "Claud, you going?"

"Yes! Of course!" Claudia replied. "I love any excuse to party."

I coughed. In reality, Claudia liked any excuse to drink tequila and sleep with Alan. Cokie Mason having another party wasn't exactly a good thing. It would be my first as Cary's girlfriend. Did this mean we'd have to be like Alan and Claud and all over each other in public?

"Earth to Kristy?" Mary Anne asked, waving her hand in front of my face.

I blinked. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" She asked, giving me a small smile.

I blinked again. "Yeah."

I was totally not okay.


	6. Open Your Eyes

"Kristy, Claudia called." Was the first thing my mom said to me after I walked downstairs on Saturday morning. Well, it was technically one in the afternoon, but it felt like morning to me.

"Already?" I asked as I opened the refrigerator. Karen had labelled everything that belonged to her with her name on it. It annoyed me. Half the freaking fridge was labelled with "Karen's, do not touch or death!" on it. I was just tempted to eat something that belonged to her.

"She only called about an hour ago." Mom said. "Are you going out tonight or something?"

I nodded. "I'm staying over at Claudia's tonight. I should be back sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, don't do anything dangerous. The both of you." I guess after everything she went through with Sam and Charlie when they were in high school, Mom's become a little more... lenient? It was kind of scaring me. "I don't want to be woken up at 3am in the morning with a phone call from the police telling me that you've been arrested."

"Mom, you know I wouldn't get arrested."

"Kristy, sometimes people surprise you." She said, raising her eyebrow. "Believe me, I would know."

"Okay, I promise not to get arrested." I said as I picked up the cordless phone. "Or dangerous. Claud promises too. I'm gonna call her back now."

"Okay honey. Let me know when you want me to take you over there."

"Okay." I dialed Claud's personal phone number, which she's had since she was 12 and walked up the stairs.

"Hello?"

"It's Kristy."

"Hi! I have a question?"

I frowned. A list of possibilities ran through my head. "Yes?"

"What alcohol do you want for tonight?"

Not exactly what I imagined. "Um...Vodka?" I said. "What are you getting?" Please don't say tequila, please don't say tequila...

"What do you think? Tequila baby!"

I shook my head. "Claud..."

"I promise it won't get like last time." I felt like saying, you say this everytime. "So, what you wearing?"

"Um, something?"

"Can I dress you? Please Kristy? I will make sure you look good for Cary!"

Cary. I pause and stare at my English notebook. "MK" in red is sitting in the top right hand corner. I smile. "If you think you can do it, then yes."

"Well come over soon. I'm bored as and I need some entertainment."

"Why don't you call over Mary Anne as well?"

"I already tried. According to Sharon, she's with her dad in Stamford."

"Oh, well, I'll have a shower and I'll be over."

"Okay! See you soon!"

"Bye" I dropped the phone onto the desk and turned around. I was kind of scared. Claudia had always been into wild and wacky clothes as were growing up and it kind of transitioned into high school – with shorter hem lines. I picked the phone up and walked back downstairs. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Kristy?" Mom called from the family room.

I hung the phone up and walked into the family room. "I'm going to have a shower and then is it okay if you drop me off?"

Mom looked up. "Yeah sure, just call out."

I walk back upstairs, took a shower and threw on a shirt and a pair of jeans. I packed a few clothes, shoes and the tiniest bit of make up that I owned. I pulled my trainers on and walked downstairs. "I'm ready!"

Mom grabbed her keys, told Nannie that she was taking me over to Claud's and we hopped into Mom's SVU, a present from Watson last year. "So, what are you doing at Claudia's?" Mom asked,

"I don't really know. Normal stuff I guess."

"I can't believe you're going to college next fall."

"Yeah, I know. Me either."

"Soon, I'll be saying it to David Michael."

"Now, that's a scary thought." David Michael at college is a scary thought. It shows how much time has gone by.

"Have you thought about what college's you want to go to?"

I looked out the window and watched as we drove through Stoneybrook. "Michigan State."

"Still?"

"Yeah."

"You don't want to go to an Ivy League?"

Watson had tried talking me into applying for Yale, Princeton or Harvard last year. Something about it sounded pretentious, plus I didn't know whether or not I'd have good enough grades. "Yeah, I just don't know. Michigan State sounds pretty good."

"Whatever you want Kristy. Remember, to apply though. It will make Watson very happy."

I nodded. "I won't." Mom pulled up against the curb outside Claudia's house. "Bye! I'll be back tomorrow afternoon!"

"Be good and safe!" Mom called as I hopped out the car.

"I will." As mom pulled away, I wondered if she knew I was going out to a party and drinking? I wonder if she knew all along. I walked up the path to the Kishi's door and before I even raised my fist to knock, the door swung open.

"Yay! You're here!" Claudia said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me into her house.

"Wow, you must have been really bored." I said as we walked up the stairs.

"I was bored I even did my homework!" Claudia doing homework, without being pushed, is a miracle. "I can't wait for tonight. I have a feeling that for some reason that it's going to be a good night!"

Claudia's room hadn't really changed much in the years since the BSC. There were new paintings on the walls, a dark purple curtain and more mess, if that was possible. "Yeah, I've got that tingly feeling in me too." I looked over at the photo of Claudia and Alan. I wondered if I would soon have photos of Cary and me around my bedroom. "Not that I ever excited to go to a party at Cokie Mason's."

"I know, but..." Claudia sat down on her bed and looked up at the mural of a rainbow, clouds and stars. Claudia had painted between the summer of ninth and tenth grade. "Everything is looking good now. Everything is falling into place." She clapped her hands. "And you're going out with Cary!"

I smiled. "I know." I said. "I guess I didn't see that one coming."

"I did." Claudia said, smiling.

"You did?"

"Yep, even all the way back in the eighth grade. There was always something between you two."

I laughed. "I didn't really think that anything like this would happen. That Cary and I would end up dating. If I had known this back then, I would've thought that my head was falling off or something." I laughed a little bit. "I've been wondering that a lot lately."

/

Claudia makes me wear a purple dress and black strappy sandals. She puts my hair up in loose bun and puts make up on my face. I'm staring at myself in the Kishi's bathroom when Claudia walks in. "Where is the rest of your dress?" I asked, turning around to properly look at Claudia's dress which is barely covering anything.

Claudia shook her hair up and pulled a face. "Sorry mom. It got caught in the paper-shredder." We giggled. "I hope Alan's impressed."

"Oh, I think he will be."

"I think Cary's going to take one look at you and then poof!"

"Poof?"

"You two will have disappeared." She said, giving me a wink. "All ready? I just rang Mary Anne, she's on her way over." I nodded. The doorbell rang. "Ooo, she's here." We made our way downstairs and Claudia opened the front door. Mary Anne stood in dark blue sundress with black cardigan over the top.

"Hi." She said, smiling. She looked at the bottom of Claudia's dress. "Um, where's the bottom of your dress?" She asked.

"Claudia giggled. "The bottom got caught in the paper-shredder. Woops."

"Have your parents seen this dress?" Mary Anne asked, shocked.

"Nope and they will never ever see it." Claudia said. "Okay, let's go!" She closed the front door and we took off down Bradford court.

"Can you believe that Nicky Pike will graduate middle school this year?" Mary Anne said. "I think that makes me feel like time has really flown past."

"That is a bit scary. Or what about Claire Pike being in the sixth grade next fall?" I suggested. I remember when I was 13, little Claire Pike, the baby of the Pike family was only five years old. She was now in the fifth grade and ten years old. Whenever I thought of old charges being around the age I was when the BSC was running, a chill would run down my spine.

"Seeing Mallory again is just a little too weird." Mary Anne said. "She's not the Mallory we grew up with."

"You can say that again." Claudia said. "She looks she belongs at a Grateful Dead concert."

"Do you think she's going to be at the party?" Mary Anne asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Probably, You know what Cokie's parties are like, everyone will be there until the cops show up. Remember her Halloween party last year?" Claudia, Mary Anne and I had attended and we hadn't even been there for more than half an hour before the cops turned up. We had all managed to get away without being caught and spent the night, drinking the last of whatever we had left and having some of the best conversations we'd ever had.

Claudia giggled. "Remember when you decided you wanted to go for a run, Kristy? And you totally face planted it."

I laughed at the memory. "But that was after you fell off the rocking horse." I shot at Claudia.

"That was after Mary Anne ran into the ditch and got mud all over her white tights!"

Mary Anne's face flushed. "Oh god." She muttered in shame. "That night was one to remember."

"I wonder what Halloween will bring us this year." Claudia said as we turned into Cokie's street. "I hope many more great memories!" She reached into her handbag. "And tequila!"

"Not the god damn tequila!" Mary Anne said, trying to snatch it out of Claudia's hands. "Tequila is your worst enemy."

"Tequila is my best friend!"

"Excuse me, I thought we were your best friends?" I asked as we passed two freshman girls try to light cigarettes.

"You are, you just have to share a spot with Mr Tequila." Claudia said, clutching the tequila bottle to her chest. With her spear hand, she reached into her handbag and pulled out another bottle. "For you, Miss Thomas."

I grabbed the bottle of Vodka and cracked open the seal. "Thanks!" I said, taking a sip.

"Are you drinking it straight?" Mary Anne asked as Claudia handed her a bottle of peach schnapps.

I nodded, my eyes watering slightly and my throat burning. I was regretting it instantly. "Yeah, I forgot to bring a mixer with me."

"I grantee I'll find you a mixer! Just follow me!" Claudia grabbed my free hand and I felt Mary Anne grab my elbow as we made our way through Cokie's house. A lot of people had turned up, probably because there wasn't anything else to do on a Saturday night in Stoneybrook. Claudia made her way through the crowd of kids into Cokie's kitchen, which had less people in it. Claudia opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of juice."There you go, princess!"

I took the bottle off Claudia and found myself a cup. "Thanks, darling." I said as I poured myself a drink. "Have you seen Alan or Cary?"

Claudia took a swig of the tequila and shook her head. "Not yet." She said, gasping. "Man that burns."

"Sexy lady!" I heard Alan yell over the music. "Claudia babe!" Alan walked into the kitchen, followed in by Justin Forbes and Cary. I felt my cheeks burn as Cary looked over at me. He walked over with a little smirk on his face.

"You look very sexy." He whispered in my ear.

My cheeks burned even more. "Thanks." I replied.

He took the cup out of my hand and took a sniff. "What are you drinking?" He asked.

"Vodka." I said as he took a sip.

He's face grimaced as he handed me the cup back. "It's a little strong." He wrapped his arm around my waist.

Claudia pulled out six more cups. "Time for shots!" She exclaimed as she began pouring.

"Aren't you meant to do tequila shots with salt and limes?" Justin Forbes asked.

Claudia nodded. "Does it look like I have any of that?" She asked, handing him a cup. I took my cup and sniffed it. Tequila didn't smell so good. "Okay! 3-2-1!"

It burned. It felt like I just did a shot of oil. "Ack!" I exclaimed. I downed the rest of my drink just to get rid of the taste. "It's horrible!"

Mary Anne looked like she was about to vomit. "Claud, how can you drink this without wanting to vomit?" She asked, her voice a little shaky. She took a sip of her peach schnapps.

"Do you think it tastes like oil?" I asked her as I poured another drink.

"Whatever it tastes like, it is horrible!" Mary Anne said, taking a large swig of the bottle. "I need to get rid of the taste!"

I quickly drank my new drink. "We should do vodka shots!" I said, getting a little giddy from all the alcohol.

Claudia squealed and clapped her hands. "Oh my god! Yes! That's the spirit, Kristy!" I poured everyone a shot.

"Adam!" Justin yelled. "Jordan! Come join us, bro!"

Adam and Jordan Pike were two of the triplets of the Pike family. Adam, Jordan and the third triplet, Byron, were the brand new stars of the SHS basketball team. Both were tall and lanky and all the girls were going gaga over them. Including Claudia and Mary Anne, who seemed to be staring at Jordan Pike. "Yo." Adam said. "What's going on?"

"Shots!" Claudia exclaimed. "Want one?"

"Yeah, sure." Jordan said. "As long it's not tequila. That shit is gross."

Claudia scoffed. "No way!" She said as she poured more vodka shots. "Here, everybody got one?" Everyone nodded and then did the shot.

"Wow, my head's spinning." Mary Anne said.

I looked over at her. "How much peach schnapps do you have left?" My vodka was almost gone because of all the shots. Mary Anne slowly held up a empty bottle. "Mary Anne!" Mary Anne isn't exactly the biggest drinker.

"I got a bit thirsty." She said, before we dissolved into giggles.

"Come on, I'm in the mood to dance!" Claudia said, dragging us both out into the living room.

As we began to dance, I felt a pair of hands on my hips. I looked behind me and there was Cary. I turned around, stumbling a little bit. Everything felt great. Cary's lips found mine. He pulled me closer.

"Get a room!" Claudia yelled.

I pulled away. Claudia poked her tongue out at me. "Like you can talk!" I looked over at Mary Anne, worried that she was just standing awkwardly. Instead, meek, shy Mary Anne was dirty dancing with Justin Forbes before moving towards Jordan Pike. I tapped Claud on the shoulder. "Look!"

Claudia's jaw dropped open. "Go get it girlfriend!"

"COPS!" I froze. Shit, the cops were coming.

"Come on!" Cary said, grabbing my arm. I grabbed the nearest person, Alan, and tugged them along. We crammed through the crowd of kids, all trying to scram out through the back door. The air was cold. I stumbled as we ran across the Masons' backyard.

"Where are we going?" Mary Anne asked.

"I don't know!" Cary replied as he stopped in front of the fence. "Here, I'll help you over." He grabbed me and boosted me over the fence. I dropped to the other side, landing on my ass rather than my feet. Claudia and Mary Anne didn't land to well either. "Come on." Cary grabbed my wrist and dragged me again. My head was spinning. I had no idea whose backyard we were in but Cary led us against the side of the house.

"We should go somewhere good." Alan said, checking his watch. "The night is still young."

"How about the elementary school? It's only like three blocks from here?" Claud suggested. I guess she was thinking about Halloween last year.

"Yeah, we should go there!" I said, grabbing Claud. "Remember when we spun around on the merry-go-round and then got off and ran into each other?"

Claud and Mary Anne laughed. "Oh my god, I had the worst head spins!"

"I thought I was going to vomit!"

"Come on! Last one to the school is a rotten egg!" Claudia yelled, taking off.

"Oh no you don't!" Alan ran past us, taking off after Claudia.

I turned around. Jordan was staring at Mary Anne. I looked at Cary, smiling goofy. "Are you coming?" I asked as he grabbed my hand.

"Of course." He said, pulling me close as we started to follow the others. "So, what happened last Halloween?"

I smiled. "Cokie Mason had a party and we went and got drunk and the cops showed up and we split and chilled out at the elementary school, like tonight. Mary Anne fell into a ditch, we spun around on the merry-go-round and I decided to go for a run and tripped over my own feet and landed on my face."

"Sound very graceful." He said, laughing.

"It was one the best nights of my life. I was with my two best friends, having a good time and one of the best meaningful conversations of my life. That night is always my reason to never give up hope on my friends."

I heard Mary Anne squeal as she and Jordan ran past. "Why did the BSC break up?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess because of high school. And maybe because we grew up. I think Stacey and Claudia felt it was going to be too babyish for their image. And plus, we really didn't have the time to keep it going. It was good while it lasted."

"Do you miss being friends with everyone?"

"I do but then, I don't. Have you seen Mallory Pike since she got back?"

"She looks like a Marilyn Manson reject fan." Cary said as we stood next to the edge of the playground.

"Everything's changed in the last four years. I don't exactly like change."

"Well, some change is good. Like, me coming back?"

I looked up at him and smiled. "Of course." Cary's lips found mine.

"I already told you to get a room!"


	7. Today

"Kristy."

I turned around. Jordan Pike was standing behind me, looking like he was in pain and about to runaway.

"What's up?" I asked as I tried to juggle my algebra textbook, backpack and an umbrella, trying to shove them all into my backpack at once.

"I..I.."

"Spit it out." Jordan's cheeks went bright pink. "Is it about Mary Anne?"

"How did you know?" He asked, looking down at his feet. Damn him for being so tall.

"I saw how you two were getting along Saturday night. Do you have a crush on her?" It was a bit weird. Jordan Pike was a freshman and just turned 15. Mary Anne was a senior and just turned 17. Usually the younger girl liked the older boy.

Jordan shrugged his shoulders. Obviously he wasn't telling me anything. "She's a cool chick."

I nodded my head. "Yeah she is." I finally managed to get everything in my bag. "Why don't you call her sometime?"

Jordan smiled. "Yeah, thanks Kristy." I watched as he walked away. I frowned and bit my lip as I kept staring. What had I done?

/

I dialed Mary Anne's number on the phone.

"Excuse me!" I heard Karen shriek from her room. "I'm already on the phone!"

I yanked my bedroom door open, stalked down the hallway and banged Karen's door open. "Get off the phone! I need it for like five minutes!"

Karen looked up at me. She knew she couldn't bat her eyelashes and I'd give up. She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Five minutes. Nancy, I'll call you back in five." She pressed the hang up button. "Are you inviting your boyfriend over for a quickie?"

I felt my cheeks burn. "No! I'm calling Mary Anne, you idiot!" I dialed the number again and left Karen's room, slamming her door with a loud bang and shaking of the walls. She was such a little bitch sometimes.

"Hello?"

"Mary Anne? It's Kristy."

"Oh, hey."

"Has anyone called you this afternoon?" I asked. I wondered if Jordan Pike went home and called Mary Anne straight away, listening to my advice. I hoped he hadn't.

"No, why? Were they meant to?"

I held a sigh of relief in. "No, I was just wondering. I had a feeling about something... but don't worry."

"Okay..." Mary Anne said, as if she wasn't exactly buying it. "Are you okay, Kristy?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Um, I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Okay, bye..."

"Bye."

I dropped the phone onto my desk. I realized that I just gave Mary Anne to be even more suspicious if Jordan Pike did call.

/

The rest of the week went without anything ordinary not happening. Mary Anne never gave a hint or mentioned if Jordan Pike did call of about my odd phone call Monday afternoon. Karen continued to be a bitch to everyone, but was an angel towards my parents. Cary came over and I helped him with his social science homework. I did my homework. I went to school. I felt like something bad was going to happen. How could things possibly stay so normal when they had been all over the place lately?

"What are we doing this weekend?" Claudia asked as I stood next to her, while she grabbed a few things from her locker after school on Friday.

I shrugged. "I don't think there's a party on, after last week."

"Yeah, I know. I tried to get Mary Anne to make plans but she said she was busy all weekend with homework and apparently she's gotta do something with her parents. She made it sound real suss."

"Maybe it's what she's really doing but."

Claudia looked at me. "Mary Anne is the worst liar ever. She couldn't look at me in the eye and she spoke very fast. She's up to something, I tell you!"

I laughed. "Uhuh, sure. Well, let's do something. Me and you."

"Double date? Me and Alan, you and Cary?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "I promise I'll keep my hands above the table, if you do!"

I whacked Claud in the arm. "Gross!" I said as we started to walk down the hall. "Do you want to sleepover mine tonight and we go somewhere to eat?"

"Yeah that sounds good! Where are we going to eat?"

"Pizza express will be packed tonight, so not there." Pizza Express on a Friday night was like New York City on New Years Eve. Horrible, packed and just way to busy. Most SHS students who had nothing better to do, usually spent their Friday nights at Pizza Express, loitering the car park.

"Renwick's? Alan and I go there, it doesn't really get packed."

I nodded. "Sounds good. My mom and Watson are going to some event in Stamford, and Tiffany Kilbourne is meant to be coming over to watch the younger ones."

"Well, I need to go home to get some stuff and then we can head over to yours." Claud said. "I'll call Alan at my house."

I watched Stacey walk across the student car park. I wondered if she and Sam would be seeing each other tonight. I wonder how I would explain Stacey at my house if she rocked up while Claud was there.

It would be very awkward and just on my part. I don't think Claudia and Stacey have spoken each other since they stopped being friends. They didn't have any classes together at school and they certainly didn't hang around each other anymore. "Sounds good, but I don't want to walk all the way back to my house. That's ages away from yours."

"We'll just wait until mom comes home. She finishes early on a Friday and I'll make her drive over! That's what she gets for being my mother!"

/

Thankfully Sam's car wasn't the in driveway when Claud's mom dropped us off. "Warning, craziness might be on the other side of this door." I said as I jammed my house key into the lock and turned the knob. "Karen's going through this stage." It was hard to believe that I was Karen's age when I came up with the BSC. We stepped through the front door and it was quite, which wasn't always a good thing. "Anybody home?"

"Kristy?" I heard my mom ask from the living room. We walked into the next room, where my mom was standing in a nice dress, putting on earrings. "Oh, hello Claudia."

"Hi Mrs Brewer." Claudia said, politely. "Nice dress."

Mom finished putting her earrings in and ran her hands down her dress. "Thank-you. Are you staying the night?"

"Yeah she is. Is that okay?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Sam said he'd be out late. Karen's at Nancy's. Tiffany is in the kitchen with Andrew and Emily Michelle, I'm assuming you won't be having dinner with them?"

"Nah, we're going out."

"Okay, just let Tiffany know that you'll be out. Watson and I will be at the Townsend hall in Stamford. We won't be back until late."

"Cool, I'll guess I'll see you later?" Sometimes on a weekend I wouldn't see my mom until the Monday. It was a bit odd, but I had a busy life and so did she.

"I will. Have a good time, girls."

"You too." Claudia said, before we started walking up the stairs. "I haven't seen Tiffany Kilbourne in years."

"She looks a lot like her mother, and Shannon. A mini-Shannon. It's almost scary who much they look a like."

"And now she baby-sits, just like Shannon did?"

"Rarely I think, just Andrew and Emily Michelle and Skylar Korman. She's fifteen, remember."

"Wow, they really do grow up fast." Claudia flopped down onto my bed.

"What time is Alan picking us up?" I asked as I put my book bag down next to my desk.

"7-ish..."

"I can't believe someone gave Alan Grey a license."

"I know. Hey, what is Shannon doing lately?"

Shannon Kilbourne lives across the road from me. She used to be a associate member of the BSC, taking in jobs when she could, if we needed her. She is one of the smartest people I know. She had spent a whole year in France during sophomore year. I hadn't kept in contact with Shannon, despite living across the road. "Busy, busy. I'm pretty sure she's applying to the Ivy's and apparently French college's."

"She's so smart. She's like Janine." Claud said, rolling over onto her stomach. "I think my parents wished that I was applying to an Ivy League."

I felt bad for Claud, having to live up to the standards that Janine had already set. "I think NYU is a good choice. Why don't you try Brown? They're Ivy but I think you might be able to get in. Especially after they see your art."

"You think? I don't want to go somewhere where they don't appreciate creativity." She looked at my closet door. "Can I help you get dressed? Pick out something classy? Something that will drive Cary crazy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Cary's already crazy."

/

"You look beautiful." Cary whispered in my ear as we walked from the car park to the entrance of Renwick's. I was wearing a long-sleeved black button-up shirt and a short dark red skirt, both of which, were Claudia's and black flats, that were my own. I didn't think I look anything more than I usually did, but when Cary said that, I felt my cheeks go warm. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kept his hand on my waist. The skin underneath burned.

"Thanks." I said, touching my hair nervously. "Claudia's doing again."

"I like it." He said.

We walked inside and I noticed that there were a lot of couples from SHS. I felt a little uncomfortable. I knew people knew about me and Cary, but to me, it was surreal, it wasn't happening. I was thanking my lucky stars that Sam and Stacey hadn't made an appearance. We sat down at a booth and a waitress quickly took our drink orders. I wonder if Cary thought I was one of those girls who ordered nothing but water or diet coke and ate salad. I itched at my hand.

"So." Claudia said, her hand was playing with her fork. "Nobody's saying anything. Awkward."

"We see each other everyday at school." Alan pointed out. "Kristy and I had maths last period like four hours ago."

I laughed. "Makes talking about something new, a bit hard." I said. "Unless it's every senior's favorite topic."

"College." We all droned in unison.

"I can't wait until I get that big, fat envelope with an acceptance letter from NYU." Claudia said, clasping her hands together, gazing off.

I clasped my hands together. "Michigan State for me."

Claudia giggled. "You dork!" She exclaimed. "Where are you going to go, Cary?"

I paused. I hadn't thought of the future. I hadn't planned on getting a boyfriend. I hadn't thought of this. Cary would most likely go to a different college, in a different state, hundreds of miles away and our lives wouldn't mesh together anymore. "I don't know yet. I don't even know what I want to study yet."

"Really? My parents have drilled into my head since Janine got into MIT. 'You must go to a good school, Claudia!' 'If you get into a good school, you can major in anything you want!' and that's why I picked NYU. My parents agree it's good and I want to major in art." Claud said. "It's the only way I could get them to pay for college."

"Your lucky. Your parents could've decided to not pay for college, just because you didn't want to what they wanted you to."

"I expected that my parents wanted me to end up like Janine. My older sister."

"My parents wish that I was a better role model for my brothers."

"Parents expect too much from us." Alan said. "And we never live up to it."

"Do you think we'll be like this to our kids?" I asked. I looked across at Claudia and Alan and Cary, all of their faces looked puzzled. Were we destined to be our parents?

/

The rest of the weekend went past fast. Friday night seemed to end on a good note, I think, I hoped. I'm pretty sure it did. Claudia went home late Saturday afternoon. I spent Sunday doing homework. A rather dull weekend after the ones I had been having lately. I kept thinking about Alan had said at dinner on Friday night. About our parents expecting too much from us. I thought about what Watson and my mom wanted from me. Good grades, graduate high school, go to college, grow up happy and live my life. Am I going to live up to this? I have good grades, I'm set to graduate, I'm about apply to college, I was happy. Was I? I felt happy. I hopped off the school bus and walked towards the entrance.

"Kristy!"

I turned around. Stacey was running towards me, her light blue and white cheerleaders uniform contrasting against the green lawn. "Yeah?"

She stopped when she reached me. She smiled. "I just wanted to say congrats!" She said.

I frowned in confusion. "Huh?"

"Cary. I just wanted say that I'm glad you two are going out." She said, continuing to smile at me. "I'm glad you found someone."

"Really? I,uh, thanks. It was a bit of a surprise."

"Well, I hope he's good for you. You need it." She said. "Bye!" She gave a little wave and walked off. I stared at her as she stopped and said hello to someone else. Why had she said something? Was it because I knew about her and Sam? Or was it genuine?


	8. Thanksgiving

A month passed since Cary and I had gone out on our first date. Halloween went and gone, Austin Bentley held our last Halloween party as a class together. And before I knew it, it was time for thanksgiving. Dawn was due to arrive today, and Claudia had sweet talked Alan into driving Mary Anne, Claud and I to the airport to pick her up. Alan was a pretty safe and responsible driver, which surprised me considering outside the car, Alan was sometimes not a safe and responsible person. It was raining pretty bad, which seemed to match Mary Anne's mood. I knew it had something to do with Dawn coming home for five days. I knew she was happy, but with everything that has been happening with Sharon, Mary Anne's step-mom and Dawn's mom, I knew it wasn't going to fun.

"What gate is she getting in at?" Alan asked as we rushed inside to escape the rain.

"Eight." Mary Anne shaking her hair free of rain. "Let's just double check in-case they changed it." We walked until we found the little TV's that showed departure and arrivals.

"There. American Airlines Flight 4452, schedule to arrive at 12:20 at gate eight." Claudia said, pointing up at the highest screen. She looked at her watch. "That's in ten minutes." We found our way to gate eight and sat down in the chairs that faced the window.

"It hasn't arrived yet, which is good." Mary Anne said.

I looked down at her hands. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing?" She asked, her eyes wide and her hands kept moving.

"Alright..." I said turning back to the window.

"I think her plane landed." Alan said, pointing at the plane that was slowly making it's way down the runway. "I haven't seen Dawn Schafer in years." He said.

Neither had we, I wanted to say. I wonder if he thought that we saw her every summer and holiday break or if Claudia had told him that she hadn't seen her. We stood up and moved towards the gate entrance. People began to exit the two doors and I craned my neck looking for a blonde head.

"Dawn!" Claudia screeched into my ear, waving her arms. That's when I saw her. She was taller, blonder and tanner. She rushed towards us, her hair flying behind her.

Dawn hugged Mary Anne first, then Claudia, then me and turned to Alan. "You two are still together?" She asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yes, we are!" Claudia said. "Look at your hair!"

Dawn shrugged. "Yeah, it's grown a bit since I last got it cut." She said. "Look at you guys! You all look so different." I looked at Claudia and Mary Anne. I didn't think we had changed at all. None of us had grown, we still had the same hair color and dressed almost identical to what we used to.

"I guess..." Mary Anne said. "How's everything been in California?" She asked as we made our way towards baggage claim.

Dawn sighed. "All the crazy has finally died down. Jeff's a freshman now, Gracie goes to daycare, Vista's pretty much the same, Carol is still Carol, Dad is still Dad..." She said as she searched for her suitcase. "How's everything here?"

"Still the same." I said.

"Kristy is going out with Cary Retlin." Claudia blabbed. I felt my stomach turn. The last that Dawn knew was that Cary and I were always at each others throats.

Dawn turned around. "Are you kidding?"

I shook my head. "No..."

Dawn laughed. "That's crazy. You hated him so much in grade eight." She leaned across some little girl and grabbed her suitcase. "Okay, I found it, we can go."

I looked at Mary Anne. She was a bit quite. "Are you okay?" I whispered in her ear.

She nodded. "Yeah I am." I didn't believe her.

/

Alan dropped me off at my house. Dawn had chatted the whole way home about California. Her friends, her school, her family. We all stayed silent and listened. Dawn had applied for Sarah Lawrence, the same school as Mary Anne and apparently so had Dawn's friend Sunny. I wondered if Mary Anne had been happy about that. Sam's car wasn't in the driveway, so that meant he wasn't home and either was Mom's or Watson's. The house was pretty quiet. I walked up the stairs and towards my room. Karen's door flew open. "Cary called." She said, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrow raised.

I shrugged. "Okay... Thanks." I stared at her. "What are you wearing?"

Karen looked down. She wore a singlet top that was low cut and the short denim skirt. "What's wrong with it?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't come complaining to me when someone calls you a hooker." I said, smiling. I turned and walked down to my room and closed the door. I picked up my phone and dialed Cary's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is Cary there?" I asked as a I flopped onto my bed.

"Yeah. Cary! A girl is on the phone!" The voice screeched in my ear. I mouthed ow.

"Hi?"

"It's me."

"Hello 'me'."

I smiled. "Why you ring?" I asked.

"Um, to see what you were doing."

"I went with Claud and Mary Anne to pick up Dawn from the airport and now I'm home, bored."

"Want to do something?"

"Yeah... Come over."

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye." Click. I sat up as I put the phone down next to me. I stared around my room. Cary is coming around and my room is disgusting. I quickly picked all my clothes up and shoved them into my closet. I closed my door and looked around. It looked a bit better. I think. Dawn's laugh and then "That's Crazy. You hated him so much in the eighth grade." kept replaying in my head. It was true that we didn't exactly get along. I laughed as I imagined someone telling my eighth grade self that I was worried that Cary would think my room is disgusting. She'd probably ask if you had been hit on the head. The doorbell rang and I sprinted out and down the stairs before Karen could even open her door and be all nosy about who was at the door. I opened it.

"Hi!" I said. I frowned as I realized that I sounded a little too excited, which for me, was a bit odd.

"Hey." He said as he walked in. "Whose home?" He asked.

"Just the younger ones and Nannie." I said as we walked up the stairs, tip-toeing past Karen's room.

"Ah, okay. It's a little quite than normal."

"Yeah, it's a bit creepy but nice." As we entered into my room I scanned for anything that was A, gross or B, embarrassing. I sat down on my bed and watch Cary as he looked at my photos, yet again. "What do you wanna do?" I asked.

Cary shrugged his shoulders. "Doesn't bother me."

I laughed. "It doesn't bother m-" I was cut off by Cary kissing me. As he pulled away, I smiled. "Or we could do that."

/

I woke up early on Thanksgiving Day because I had promised Nannie that I would help her set up. There was a knock at my door and Mom popped her head in, holding out the phone. "It's Mary Anne." She whispered.

I looked at her puzzled. I had no idea why Mary Anne was calling me, I thought she'd be spending time with her family and Dawn, considering it had been a while since she last saw her. Mom shrugged and I took the phone off her. "Hello?"

Sniff. "Kristy?"

"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?" Mary Anne was upset.

Another sniff. "I can't be here right now." She said.

I looked up at my Mom who was organizing my desk, pretending to not eavesdrop. "What? What's going on? Tell me what's wrong."

"Can I come there?"

I snapped my fingers and covered the mouth piece. "Can she come for dinner?" I whispered. Mom nodded and left the room. "Yeah, Mom says it's okay. Just bring something nice to wear."

"Thank you so much Kristy. I'll be there soon." Click. I put the phone down and rubbed my eyes. I wonder what happened that made Mary Anne not want to spend Thanksgiving with her family. I had a quick shower and got dressed. I was doing some homework when someone knocked on the door. "Kristy?" Mary Anne opened the door.

I put my pen down and swiveled around on my chair. "Hey." Mary Anne did not look good. Her face was red and blotchy. "What's wrong?" I asked as I stood up.

Mary Anne's face crumpled and she flopped onto the bed, hiding her face in my comforter. "I thought maybe everything would go okay but no." She said.

I lied down next to her. "I'm lost."

"Dawn."

"Oh..."

Mary Anne sat up and wiped her eyes. "You know how Sharon always goes on about Dawn and Jeff and how fabulous they are and that I should work harder at school..." I nodded. "Last night at dinner, all Sharon could do was complain about how Jeff didn't want to come for Thanksgiving and that he didn't know whether or not he wanted to come for Christmas now either and then Dawn said it was because he has a girlfriend and that he's got friends and he wants to be with his dad and he doesn't want to miss anything over there and Sharon got angry and took it out on me. She embarrassed me, telling Dawn all these things I had told her in private, that I hadn't told Dawn and then she said I was too dumb to apply for college and that I would be lucky enough to get into community college."

"Wow, she's a bitch." I said. "I can't believe she said you were dumb. You're really smart, and you will go to college, I know that. For a fact. I mean, why else would your English teacher pressure you to apply for Dartmouth and Northwestern and places like that? She's just a cranky bitch whose just trying to make herself feel better by putting you down."

Mary Anne's eyes welled up with more tears. Oh god, I've said something that has made her more upset. She leaned across and hugged me. "Your such a good friend, Kristy. I'm so glad your mom let me come over."

I hugged her back. "It's okay. Did Dawn stick up for you, by any chance?" I asked.

Mary Anne shook her head. "Dawn seemed to avoid talking about it. All she talked about was California and her school, her friends, her awesome life she's leading over there and that she's glad she chose to live over there back then. She said she doesn't know what she'd be like if she hadn't."

"Do you wanna have a shower?" I asked. "They always make me feel better after I've been crying."

Mary Anne smiled. "Sure."

/

I spent Black Friday with Claudia and Mary Anne at Washington Mall being dragged around for hours while Claudia shopped. No wonder why Alan only dropped us off and picked us up. I did shop for myself a little bit but I quickly grew bored of it. Shopping has never really been my thing. I wondered why Dawn didn't come with us but I invited her to have a sleepover on Saturday along with Claud and Mary Anne. Mary Anne was a little quieter than normal, which earned a concerned glance from Claud to me. I wasn't one to tell things that someone else didn't probably want as public knowledge, so I'd leave it up to Mary Anne to tell Claud what happened. I was aimless walking through the house on Saturday when the doorbell rang. "I've got it!" I shouted in case Karen, the busybody, came out of her room just look at who it was. Dawn stood on my front stoop. "Hi." I said, surprised.

Dawn smiled. "Hi. I thought I'd come over and say hey cause I don't have much time left here, and I don't know whether or not you had any plans."

I shook my head. "Nope, I'm free. Do you want to come in?"

Dawn nodded. "It's far to chilly out there for me." She said as she pulled her boots off. I led her up the stairs towards my room. "Your house hasn't changed much since I last saw it."

I shrugged. "Not really." I opened my bedroom door and sat down at my desk chair. "So, what's up?"

Dawn looked around before sitting on the edge of my bed. "Not much."

"So, you're planning on going to Sarah Lawrence too?" I asked. I didn't know much about Dawn anymore. If you asked four years ago, I could probably tell you everything. She felt like a stranger now.

"Yeah, it's my only east coast choice. I hope I get in. I hope Mary Anne and Sunny do too. It would be cool if we could live off-campus all together." She said. "I know things are tense between my mom and Mary Anne. I just don't know what to say, which I know is a bad thing. I mean, my mom is my mom and Mary Anne is my sister and one of my best friends, even though we never really talk anymore."

"It's a difficult situation. Someone will get hurt in the end." I said.

"I know. I can't defend one person without the other person getting angry and upset. It's why I asked Mary Anne if she'd come to California for spring break. I'm already coming back for Christmas and the only holidays after that is spring break and I know it would be good for her to get away from my mom."

"It's a good idea." I said. "Jessi said she's coming back for Christmas."

"Almost a mini BSC reunion of a sort." Dawn said, giggling.

"We should all meet up and like, go out for dinner." I said. "Except the only people I don't see going is Mallory and Stacey."

"Mary Anne told me about Mallory..." She said before trailing off into laughter. "I can't believe that she's probably changed the most."

I sighed and looked up at the photo of us all four years ago. "I know."


	9. Violet

School had become dreadful. Midterms were starting in a week. College applications were due. Being organized, I had finished mine a week early and sent them off. I help Claudia with hers, doing a spell check (in case her computer wasn't able to work out a few words), grammar check and making sure they sounded good. I wanted Claudia to go to college probably as much as her parents, she was smart in her own way and sometimes I felt like she was going to give up. She was one of my best friends and I wasn't going to give up on her. I closed my social science textbook shut and clicked my computer monitor on. I checked my emails, a few from Claud sending me chain mail that was meant to be funny and a email from Jessi.

Hey Kristy!

I hope college applications and mid-terms haven't gotten you too down. I bet your going to send a email back saying you sent them off a month early or something crazy like that. I hope you get into the college of your choice! It was Michigan State, right? It doesn't surprise me about Mallory. I knew our friendship would change when she left for Riverbend, but I expected her to at least send me a letter or a email now and again. So much for expecting, right? Wow, I can't believe you date CARY RETLIN! Yes, that had to be in caps lock! It surprised me that much! I had to close my eyes and open them again to make sure I was reading that right, ahaha. Mom's made it official that we're going to Stoneybrook for Christmas, so we must catch up! You must come to New York one time to see central park at Christmastime, it's so magical. I'm thinking of taking ice-skating lessons. I know I could possibly hurt myself a lot of I fall over or something crazy, but I think it might help a lot with my ballet and my technique. Ice-skating looks so cool too! Study calls! See you very soon, love Jessi.

I was proud that Jessi was so happy in New York. I was happy that she wanted to catch up over Christmas too. I knew Claudia and Mary Anne would want to catch up with her as well, and Dawn, who was also coming for Christmas.

Hello!

You were almost dead on about college applications, haha. I sent them a week early and managed to help Claudia with hers. I'm so glad you want to catch up over the holidays. Guess what? Dawn is going to be in Stoneybrook for Christmas too. She wants to catch up as well. I don't know about Stacey and Mallory, but I'll talk to Abby soon about all of us meeting up. We should go out for dinner or something, just casual like at Renwicks or something like that. Ice-skating sounds awesome, you might become a world famous ice-skater if your good or will you just stick to ballet? It's been a while since I went ice-skating, probably the last time we went to Shadow Lake. I still think about the times we spent there, especially the first time. It was probably my favorite trip of all. I have to do some homework, but I'll send you another email with information on the reunion! Be safe, love Kristy.

I stared at my computer screen. Communicating with Jessi always left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach, like I had just sent someone to death. I looked at my contacts list. I still had people that I added all the way back in the eighth grade (when I made my email account) and looked at screen name NYCgirl, Stacey's. What was I afraid of? It wasn't like Stacey and I were close anymore, she couldn't disappoint me if she chose not to come. It was like the same with Abby and Mallory. I knew Abby would come, she wouldn't miss a chance for everyone to meet up. It had been four years since everyone was technically close. I turned my computer screen and re-opened my social studies book. It was going to be one awkward dinner.

/

I had tossed and turned all night and had some of the most bizarre dreams ever, including one, where I turned up late to the dinner and everyone was already there and instead of their normal heads, were shark heads. Clearly, my dreams were already telling me this was a bad idea. I opened my locker and began pulling books out and putting books in.

"There is something fishy going on." Claudia said, as she leaned up against the locker next to mine.

I looked at her. "Good morning to you too." I said. "What is 'fishy'?"

Claudia shrugged. "Mary Anne's recent behavior. She never has the time to hang out in the afternoons. She always says she has to study."

"Midterms are coming up." I said, closing my locker. "Maybe Sharon and her dad are riding her hard about acing them."

Claudia's nose wrinkled and she shook her head. "No, I don't get that vibe it's that. She's like, all tense and sneaky about it. And she blew me off for a study session yesterday afternoon."

I shrugged. "I don't know, she hasn't said anything to me. So, Jessi sent me a email yesterday, her family is definitely coming to Stoneybrook for Christmas and I've been thinking of having a bsc reunion."

Claudia raised her eyebrow. "How do you plan on getting everyone at one table without deceiving or lying?"

"I'm going to be straight up. I'm going to be like, 'I don't care if you want to come or not, it's happening and they're s going to be no split milk if you don't show up.'"

"I think the biggest problem will be Mallory. She seems to hate us all."

I shrugged. "That's her problem, I don't care."

/

"So, that's pretty much all the topics that will be covered in the midterm." I said, as I handed Cary a photocopy of my notes. "There shouldn't be any surprises."

Cary looked up from reading them, his eyebrow raised. "And if there is?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and shut my textbook. "I'll take responsibility of promising you there wasn't and you can punish me."

Cary looked me up and down. "Any way I want?"

"Within reason." I said, smiling. "Is there anything else you want me to help you with?"

Cary smirked at me. "I'm failing biology."

I blinked. "You don't take biology?" I said, as he moved our notebooks and pencils over. "So, how can you be failing biology?" Cary's hand moved behind my head and pulled me in closer. He placed a kiss on my jawline. I felt his fingers move within my hair. He kissed me, pushing me backwards onto the carpet. I felt my heartbeat racing as I felt Cary's hand left my hair, down my neck, over my shirt until it reached the hem. He pulled away. His fingers were lightly tracing the waistband of my jeans. I was so hoping this wasn't a dream. I closed my eyes. I felt him move, both of his hands gripping my waist and then suddenly he picked me up off the ground. I snapped my eyes open. "What are you doing?" I exclaimed as I landed on my bed. I looked over at Cary.

He had a smirk on his face as he pulled off his shirt. He stared at me for a few seconds. He snapped the metal part of his belt open. I gulped. He pulled the belt off. My mouth went dry. Cary climbed onto the bed, pulling me into a sitting position. I lifted my arms as he pulled my shirt off. He lent towards my ear. "Do you want to keep going?" He asked.

I inhaled and nodded.

$%#

Claudia's locker slammed shut. She turned around. "You did what!" She exclaimed at me, earning a few glances from kids passing by.

My mouth gaped open and shut like a fish. "Um...um..." I tried to say before she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the nearest girls' bathroom.

Claudia dropped my arm and put her hands on her hips. "Explain."

I looked at the mirror. "I...almost had sex with Cary." I said in a small voice.

Claudia let out a small squeal. "Oh my lord!" She grabbed my shoulders and shook them. "Oh my lord!"

"You seem more excited than I expected." I said. "I can't believe that we went that far..."

Claudia giggled. "Kristy, I'm surprised you ever went that far with anyone! You and Cary are almost eighteen so it's okay. Why didn't you go all the way?"

It was obvious to me that I wasn't going to be Cary's first, but he was going to be mine. At the last moment, I decided not to continue. Since then, I had been screaming at myself, "WHY?". I shook my head. "I don't know." I said softly.

Claudia snaked her arm around my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You know, a couple of times before Alan and I went all the way, I hesitated. I never knew why. I felt like I was ready and I told myself but maybe my body just knew. Alan thought it was him and we had a fight and then one day he came over and we talked things out and it was then I was completely ready." She smiled at me. "You'll know, Kristy. Don't push yourself."

/#%

I rubbed my eyes. I hadn't concentrated for the rest of the day. I kept thinking about Cary and the lack of non-sex we had. Thinking how about it was probably my fault that he might not talk to me ever again but he proved that wrong during lunch as he sat next to me like normal at our table. He talked to me, traced the outline of my knee like usual, winked at me when Alan made a suggestive joke at Claudia and kissed me on the forehead before he went to sixth period. It was like nothing had happened yesterday. Was I going crazy with my thoughts? I was leaving the building and heading towards the buses to go home. I caught sight of a tall, blonde cheerleader just ahead of me. "Stacey!" I called.

Stacey turned around. She had a small smile on her face as I ran up to her. "Hi Kristy." She said. Stacey looked pretty as normal. No one could call her anything less. She was probably the most beautiful person in SHS. It was probably why she was homecoming queen and probably was going to be prom queen. I shook my head. Why was I acting like this? Stacey frowned. "You okay?" She asked nicely.

I nodded. "I'm fine. I have something to ask you."

"Ask away."

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I instantly thought of Cary biting the bottom of my ear. Oh sweet Jesus. "Jessi and Dawn are going to be in Stoneybrook for Christmas, and we're coming up with the idea of a reunion thing. Just dinner or something. Nothing big."

"Well, Mom and I don't go anywhere for Christmas and my dad will be working like usual... so I guess I can make it. Just send me a email of when and where and I'll come."

I smiled. I was glad Stacey was going to come. "Okay, I'm glad your coming."

Stacey shrugged. "I can't resist a BSC reunion." She looked over her shoulder. "You want a lift home with me and Sam?" She asked. "Beats getting the bus?"

I could deal with an awkward car ride with Sam and Stacey over the bus which was always over-crowded and smelly. "Sure."

%%$

Three days late I was pulling my hair out. Cary still acted like nothing had happened or even acknowledged it. Midterms were driving everyone crazy. Mary Anne and I helped Claudia study when she wasn't emailing Janine like crazy. I thought it was nice of Janine to help out Claudia when she had study of her own to do. Janine and Claudia's relationship was still strained and awkward but over the years Janine and Claudia had become closer and Claudia's grades had improved a bit. Mary Anne was being more and more secretive. She disappeared every afternoon straight away after our study session ended. Claudia and I exchanged glances as she packed her backpack at super speeds and said a rushed goodbye. This wasn't the Mary Anne I had known all my life. It was late Saturday afternoon when I had the phone in my hand and was dialing her number.

"Hello?"

"Mary Anne? Hi, it's Kristy."

"Hi Kristy. What's up?"

"Uh, I was just seeing what were doing."

"Just re-reading my English notes. I might re-read the book we've been reading in class again. I don't really get the ending."

"Oh okay. So, what's been up with you? You and I haven't really hung out lately."

"I've been really busy studying. You know how I get around exams."

"I know... it just seems like there might be something else going on..."

"No, nothing's going on. I promise."

"Well, if you ever need anything, you can always tell me."

"I know. I've got to study now. I'll see you Monday, okay?"

"Okay, bye." Click. I put the phone down and stared at the refrigerator. Mary Anne Spier was the worst liar I knew. She wasn't telling the truth. Something was going on. And I was getting to the bottom of it.


	10. Kristy's Worst Idea 2.0

We had four days before winter vacation started and I still had to ask Mallory to our BSC reunion dinner. I had asked Abby a week ago when I caught sight of her in the halls. She had straight away said yes and then joked about whether or not I'd put a visor on and call the dinner to order. I hadn't seen Mallory at all, not that I was sure I wanted too. Mary Anne was still being sneaky, but Claudia and I had been investigating her odd behavior. I dropped down in the chair next to Mary Anne. We were in study hall in the library. Sometimes, I think the teachers just stick us in here just for the sake of it. "Hi."

Mary Anne looked up from the book she was reading. "Hey." She said. "What's up?"

"Nothing..." I said as I pulled out my maths notebook. "You?"

Mary Anne shrugged. "Same old. Dawn arrives tomorrow night."

"Yeah, she told me." It had never been this awkward to talk to Mary Anne. She had been my best friend since we were nappies. "So..."

Mary Anne closed her book. "Kristy, you obviously came over to ask me something. Ask." Mary Anne usually wasn't like this.

I looked at her in the eyes, trying to possibly decipher something out of it. I licked my lips. "I...uh...Still haven't asked Mallory to the reunion dinner. I don't really know how too."

Mary Anne raised her eyebrows a little. "I could ask her for you, if you want?" She asked.

I smiled. "That'd be really nice." I said.

Mary Anne stood up. "I'm going to loan this out. I'll see you at lunch?"

I nodded. "Yes, you will." I watched her walk towards the librarian. I smiled down at my notebook.

/

"Did you ask her?" Claudia asks me while we're standing in the lunch line.

I nodded. "She kind of suggested it." I replied. "She got a bit snarky when she realized I had come to ask for a favor."

Claudia shrugged. "As long as she doesn't get that we're sneaking around trying to find out why she's sneaking around, then everything should be all good."

I watched some junior jock smack the tray table out of a freshman's hands. Some people were just jerks. "I don't get why she would be sneaking around."

"What if she's doing drugs?" Claudia's eyes were huge.

I shook my head. "She's not that much of an idiot." I said as I stared at the hot food in front of me. Twelve years of going to school and the food hadn't gotten any better. More like worse. I grabbed a plate of potato bake, a banana, a pudding and a bottle of water. "Plus, it's Mary Anne we're talking about."

"But still, it could be one of those stories you see on TV. The good kids no one suspects! They're the best at hiding it!"

I shook my head. "You crazy, Claud." I said as we walked towards our normal table. I hoped Claud wasn't right but.

/

I leaned back on Claudia's director's chair. I didn't sit in it often. It reminded me too much of the BSC and those days. Claudia was down stairs getting us some soda and snacks. We were hanging out at Claudia's house almost everyday. My house had become a zoo of craziness, like it normally did on holidays. Charlie was home, Nannie was getting everything ready to start cooking and Karen was chucking a tantrum because she couldn't go to Ricky Torres' party.

"Have you booked a table yet?" Claudia asked as she walked back into her room. "I bet every where will be booked out for Christmas parties." She handed me a glass of soda and a plate of biscuits.

"Yeah, I booked a table last night at Renwick's. I thought we could go to Chez Maurice, but that's a little to expensive." I said. "Plus, I don't know whether or not they have a vegetarian option for Dawn."

"Are we just meeting there?"

I shrugged. "I guess we could. I don't know how else we're going to get everyone there in one car."

"I get my license in a month and then we can drive around everywhere!" Claudia said, reaching under her bed and throwing me a three musketeers bar.

"You're parents are buying you a car still?" I was three months off getting my license.

Claudia nodded. "Within reason, but I don't care! I'll have my license and I'll have a car and I'll be free!"

"No more chauffeur Alan?"

Claudia giggled. "No! No more chauffeur Alan and that ridiculous accent! God, I hate that accent." She said. "That reminds me, what you get Cary for Christmas?"

Gift buying isn't my strong suit. I struggled with Claudia's and Mary Anne's, and I've been buying them presents for years. "I got him a book." I said.

Claudia raised her eyebrow. "A book?"

I nodded. "He's into biology and human bodies so I got him some book."

Claudia stared at me. "Okay. I do not want to know what you two when you're alone."

I threw the closest thing I could grab, which happened to be a shirt. "What did you get Alan?"

"I painted him a picture of us. And I got him that Radiohead CD he wanted that came out last month. He's been whining that he hasn't been able to buy it." She grinned. "I may have snagged the last copy that was in the whole of Stoneybrook."

"Do you really reckon Mary Anne is doing drugs?"

Claudia shrugged. "No, but my mom is always going about the dangers and signs of drugs and the people who do them. If it's a boy, then I don't get why she's hiding it. Unless he's hideously ugly or married."

"Jordan Pike."

Claudia frowned. "What about him?"

"I think it's him! After that party we went too, he asked me about Mary Anne and I told him to call her. Oh my god, I'm an idiot!" I slapped myself on the forehead.

"Mary Anne's sneaking around with Jordan Pike? One of the Pike triplets? Our ex-baby sitting charge!" Claudia stood up. "Why didn't you think of this earlier!" She pointed her finger at me.

I raised my hands. "I don't know! I don't know! I guess I was too busy thinking about Cary to remember or realize!" I stood up too. We both started screaming. "Why are we screaming?"

Claudia paused. "I don't know!"

"I don't know either!"

/

It was Friday. Four days later and the night of our reunion dinner. I had gone over Claudia's after school since she decided she wanted to help me get ready. She had put me in a dark red top and black dress pants. I wore my black coat over the top and lace-up black boots. I thought I looked good, and I was comfortable. Claudia's dad drove us to Renwick's when he came home from work. I was nervous. I had been having nightmares about it. Ones where a shark smashed through the windows and took all our heads off. Claudia and I stood outside the restaurant, a little cold from the gale force type winds we had been having for the past two days. We were a little early, but I kept looking around, looking for any familiar faces.

"Kristy! Claudia!"

I turned around. Jessi Ramsey was crossing the road. She had grown a little. She looked very the ballet dance I'd expect her to look like. Her hair was pulled back neatly and she was wearing a pink coat with black stockings and ballet flats. "Jessi!" She gave me a hug and then Claudia. "Wow, you look so grown up!"

Jessi smiled. "Thanks. It feels so good to be in Stoneybrook! But what's up with the weather?"

Claudia shrugged. "It's pretty windy. I hope everyone arrives soon."

"Is Mallory coming?"

"Mary Anne invited her, but who knows. She's changed so much. It's like she's a different person." I said, looking around again. "I didn't even recognize her when I first saw her."

Jessi looked a little upset. I wondered if she ever thought back then that she and Mallory wouldn't be friends. "Are you still with Alan?" Jessi asked, with a grin on her face. "That has to be the weirdest couple I would've ever dreamed up of!"

Claudia laughed. "Yes, yes, I'm still with Alan." She said. "Come on, it's not as weird as Kristy and Cary!"

Jessi bursted out laughing. "You should've seen my face when I read the email with her telling me. I was like, what girlfriend? Have you been smoking something wacky!" Jessi and Claudia bursted into giggles together.

"Oh, ha ha. So funny guys." I said.

"What's funny?" Abby said, walking up towards us. "Tell me I want to know."

Jessi stopped giggling for a second. "Just when I read Kristy's email saying she was dating Cary Retlin!"

Abby laughed. "Yeah, that's a left fielder!" She hugged Jessi. "Good to see you."

Mary Anne and Dawn arrived next. More hugs and hello's and laughing at my poor expense happened. Then Stacey arrived and it was a little awkward. She looked great of course, her blonde hair sitting nicely and she was wearing a nice caramel colored coat with a black dress, stockings and flats on underneath. I thought Stacey and Claudia weren't going to say a word to each other but Stacey looked at Claudia, smiled and said, "Hello." politely.

"Hi." Claudia said, barely audible as she dropped her head to look at her shoes.

I turned to Stacey. "I'm glad you came." I said.

Stacey jammed her hands into her coat. "So am I." She said quietly. "Is Mallory the last one to arrive?"

I nodded. "Mary Anne?"

Mary Anne turned around, her eyes making one small moment of contact before darting away. "Yeah?"

"Did Mallory say whether or not she was coming?" I asked, my teeth chattering a little bit. The wind was picking up and it had began to snow a little bit.

"I didn't get to ask her, I left a message with her mom, but she said she would make her."

"We should go inside. She can join us at the table." Claudia said.

I nodded, quickly looking around for a sign of the Pike's car or Mallory. "Okay, inside!" I said, opening the door and walking into the warm air. Renwick's was busy, at least for a miserable Friday night near the holidays. I walked up to the waitress who was standing around the stand. "Hi, I have a reservation for Thomas?"

The waitress smiled and ran her finger down the notebook. "A table for eight? Right this way." She led us to the back section, where the was a large table set up for eight. I sat down next to Dawn and Claudia, opposite Mary Anne and Stacey. This couldn't get more awkward, and I was beginning to regret this already. The waitress gave us menus and took our drink orders. Then it was silent. I thought it was because everyone was studying the menus, but I caught Mary Anne looking at Dawn funny over the top of her menu and Stacey was sneaking glances at Claudia.

"Mallory." Jessi said, and we all looked up. Mallory was walking towards us, wearing her usual amount of eyeliner and that grateful dead T-shirt. Mallory sat down next to Abby, at the opposite end of the table to Jessi, who was staring at her.

"Do you want to have a look at the menu?" I offered Mallory.

Mallory looked up at me, her eye quickly glancing at Jessi, before returning to me. "No. I've been to Renwick's a million times. I basically have it memorized." I bit my lip, unsure of what to go with next. I looked down at the table in front of me.

Jessi cleared her throat. "I have an announcement. I only found out on Wednesday, but..." She laughed. "I'm going to France, starting next semester, for eighteen months. I got a exchange with this prestigious school in Paris."

"Wow." Mary Anne said, patting Jessi's arm.

"Congratulations." Abby, Dawn, Stacey, Mary Anne, Claudia and I all said together.

"Paris will be so lovely in the spring time. Can you bring me in your suitcase?" Mary Anne asked, her voice sounded dreamy. Mary Anne had always had a dream to visit Paris since she was a little girl. She was always fascinated by big cities.

"And me?" Stacey asked. "I've always wanted to go to Paris fashion week."

"Me too!" Claudia said.

Jessi smiled. "I wish I could bring you all." She said. "I'm so nervous. I leave a week after new years."

"Mary Anne?" Mallory asked, causing all of us to turn to her. She hadn't spoken a word since Jessi's announcement. "If you go to Paris, won't you miss Jordan?" She leaned across the table so she could see Mary Anne. Mallory had a big smirk on her face. Mary Anne's face was red. Every one was quite. "Would you?"

"Jordan?" Stacey asked, looking clueless.

"Jordan Pike?" Abby asked, her eyes wide.

"Your going out with Jordan Pike?" Dawn said. Mary Anne stood up, pushed her chair back and hurried off to the bathroom. Surprisingly, Stacey beat everyone else on getting up and followed her.

"You bitch!" Claudia exclaimed. "You knew she hadn't said anything!"

Mallory shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "No, I didn't."

I shook my head at Mallory. "That was so rude of you." I said. "If she wanted to keep it a secret, she could've, but you had to ruin that didn't you?" Mallory rolled her eyes. "What happened to the old Mallory?"

"And you wonder why you have no friends anymore." Jessi said, from the other end of the table. "It's because you think the world owes you something. Well, sorry, it doesn't."

"I'm going to check on her." Claudia whispered in my ear, getting up. I wanted to tell her I would, because Stacey was already in there, but Claudia had already walked away.

"What did she say about me?"

I snapped my head towards Mallory. "Nothing is always about you, but you like to make it, don't you. You've been back in Stoneybrook for two months and your the girl whose name is written all over bathroom walls and is getting suspended for smoking pot with a bunch of dropkicks."

Mallory shook her head. "I don't have to listen to this. I only came tonight because I was forced to by my parents." She said. "I would never talk to any of you if I had the option."

I heard the bathroom door close. I turned my head and Stacey was walking back alone. She looked angry. "I hope your happy." She said to Mallory. "Because karma will come and bite you in the ass." Mallory rolled her eyes again. "You just ruined something she wanted to do on her own, and she was going to do it tonight. You don't know what it's like to have something secretive and special that you want to tell everyone about. You want to know something? I've been dating Sam Thomas since freshman year and we're getting married next year." She stared at Mallory. "There's something you don't know, but you like to think you know everything."

"Why do you think I stopped being friends with you?" Jessi asked. "You became angry, spiteful, jealous of everyone who had something good going for them. What are you jealous of? Mary Anne dating Jordan? He's your brother, you should be happy he's with someone like Mary Anne. Someone who will treat him right. Or are you jealous that you can't find someone for yourself and you just want to bring everyone down with you?" Jessi stood up and turned to me. "I'm sorry, I'm going to leave. I can't be here anymore and my appetite is ruined." Jessi picked up her handbag and gave Abby, Stacey and I a hug each. "Give Claudia and Mary Anne my goodbye and tell her, I'm sorry for leaving. I just can't do it. I'll call you."

I turned to Mallory. "You happy? Your driving everyone away." I turned towards the bathroom and started walking towards it.

"I think you should go." I heard Stacey say.

I pushed the bathroom door open and Claudia was standing there against the row of sinks. One stall was closed and I could hear Mary Anne sniffing. "Mary Anne?" I called, leaning against the door.

"Is she gone?"

"Yes." I said.

"I'm sorry." She said, opening the door. I moved backwards. She turned the sink tap on and washed her face. "I was so stupid for hiding it from you guys. This is a small town, everyone knows everyone's business."

I shrugged. "It's okay. Claudia and I were kind of working it out ourselves..."

"We just didn't know when to bring it up. We were kind of waiting for you." Claudia finished my sentence.

Mary Anne smiled and blew her nose into the paper towel. "I think I want to go home." She said. "I'll call you both tomorrow."

"Okay." I said. "Bye." I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a god damn idiot for ever thinking something like this would've worked out.

"I'm going to head off too. I'm going to get Alan to come and get me. Do you want him to give you a lift?"

I shook my head. "I'll be fine." I said. I didn't feel like being around anyone. Except one person.

/

I left the restaurant, saying goodbye to Abby and Stacey. I had walked from Renwick's all the way to Cary's, which in the wind, seemed to take forever. I could barely see in front of me. Only one light was on downstairs, and I didn't want to upset his parents by randomly rocking up to their house at night-time. I walked around their house until I was under what I hoped was Cary's window. "Cary!" I shouted as quietly as I could. I looked around, looking for a small rock I could throw against his window.

"What are you doing?"

I whirled around. Cary was standing at the back door. "I...um..."

"Aren't you meant to be at that dinner thing with all your baby-sitters?"

"Yeah. Kind of ruined by Mallory Pike." Cary held out his hand, grabbing mine and pulling me inside. It was so much warmer compared to outside. "What about your parents?"

"Their at dad's Christmas party and Ben and Stieg are both at sleepovers, so it's just me." He said as he directed me up the stairs and into his bedroom. I inhaled the smell. It seemed to calm me down and before I knew it, I was crying. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Cary asked as he wiped my tears before they slid past my cheeks.

"Tonight was horrible! I tried, I tried to put it back to what it was and it didn't work."

"You know everyone's changed, you knew it would've been hard."

I sniffed and brushed my hair out of my face. "And Mallory... she is just so angry with us all, she had to go and tell everyone about Mary Anne and Jordan."

"Mary Anne and who?"

I stood still as Cary helped me out of my wet coat and boots. "Jordan Pike, that basketball playing freshman that all the seniors think is cool. He is Mallory's brother."

Cary nodded. "Yeah I know him." He said, as he neatened his bed up, smoothing out the cover and pillows. "I guess Mallory is just a spiteful bitch."

"And poor Jessi. She used to be best friends with Mallory and now they never talk and after tonight I don't think they ever will again. Jessi was so angry with her." I raised my arms as Cary pulled my shirt off and unclipped my bra. He undid my pants and I shimmed out of them. "I'm just..." I sighed. "I wish everything could be like it used to be. Everyone got along and everything was comfortable and had a routine." Cary slipped a shirt over my head that came down to my knees.

Cary leaned down and kissed my head. "Stop." He said. "Stop thinking about it. It will drive you insane." He smiled. "More insane than you already are." He picked me up and dropped me on the bed and pulled the covers over me. "We're going to sleep. No but's." He flipped the light off and climbed in next to me.

I closed my eyes as Cary's arm slipped across my stomach, pulling me closer to him. I felt relief.


	11. Happy New Year, 2002!

I yawned as I flipped another page of The Metamorphosis, a book from the reading list we had been supplied with in the beginning of the year. Christmas had come and gone fast, just how I wanted it to go. After that stupid dinner (or lack of), I hadn't come out of my room much. Cary had come over everyday. Claudia had come over once or twice but I hadn't seen Mary Anne since. I was angry, still, with Mallory for ruining everything. Ruining Mary Anne telling us herself about her relationship with Jordan. Making me that upset with everything that I cried, and it takes me a lot to be that upset to cry. What mortified me the most was that I had cried in front of Cary.

"Kristy! Phone!" I heard my mom call from downstairs.

I yawned as I closed my book and got off my bed. I had been wearing the same Michigan State shirt (that I got when Watson and I visited in September) and grey sweatpants. I walked downstairs, past Karen's room where she was blasting Usher's latest song, on repeat. Mom handed me the phone as she continued to cook dinner. "Hello?"

"Kristy, it's Jordan Pike."

I raised my eyebrow slightly as I walked back upstairs. "Yeah? What's wrong?" I asked as I shut my door.

"Have you spoken to Mary Anne lately? I haven't heard from her since yesterday. The only reason why I'm asking is cause we were meant to go to the movies today and she never called to say she was coming over."

I hadn't spoken to Mary Anne since Christmas day when I had called her just to see how she was. She was quiet over the phone, like she was in trouble or something. "I haven't heard from her is Christmas day." I said. "Maybe she forgot?"

"I don't know. I tried ringing their house but it keeps ringing out, not even the answering machine is picking up."

That was weird. "I'll call Claudia and check, I'll call you back okay?"

"Thanks, Kristy."

I hung up and dialed Claudia's number quickly. "Hello?" I heard her say after it rang a couple of times.

"Claudia, it's Kristy."

"Oh, hey! What's up? What are you doing tonight?"

"Um, nothing really. Just hanging out." I said, as I paced around my bed. "Have you heard from Mary Anne?"

"Um... no. Hey, Dawn's here, do you want to talk to her?"

"Uh, sure."

I hear someone passing the phone. "Hey, Kristy." Dawn says over the phone.

"Have you heard from Mary Anne?" I ask as I sit down at my desk.

"No... Mom and I had a fight last night and I'm staying at Claudia's until I go back. Why?"

"Um, Jordan's looking for her. Says she didn't meet him today. No one's answering the house phone."

"That's weird? I'll call home but I don't really want to talk to my mom. Not especially after yesterday's fight. She was being such a bitch and Mary Anne wouldn't leave because her dad was there."

"Oh... that sucks." I said. Hearing about friends and their fights with their parents or their parents fights is always awkward. "Well, let me know if you hear from her so I can tell Jordan."

"I will. Hey, Claudia told me about your plan for new years."

I froze. I was going to kill Claudia. "Did she now?"

"Yeah... finally going to do it are ya?"

I heard giggling from Claudia in the background. "Yes, I am if you really want to know and tell Claudia to keep her mouth shut! Bye!"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and slammed it on my desk. Damn Claudia and her big mouth blabbing to Dawn about my plan to lose my virginity on New Years Eve, tomorrow. We had practically almost gone all the way, so I had no clue why was I holding back. I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I said, swinging around my chair to see Stacey opening my bedroom door. "Oh, hey." I said. I had seen Stacey a few times but she was always leaving with Sam in tow, so we hadn't had a chance to talk about the dinner.

"Hi." She said, closing the door. "I thought I would say hi." She said, giving me a small smile.

"Hi." I said back, gesturing her to sit on my bed. "Sorry about the...uh...clothes. Been kinda lazy."

Stacey laughed. "It's okay. I'm having a few off days too." She said, looking down at her nice black sweater and nice jeans. Yeah, she still dressed good even on a bad day. "I'm sorry for leaving that night so quickly. Mallory kind of really pissed me off."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think she pissed everyone off." I said, running my hands through my hair. I should probably wash it, gross. "It kind of upset me that we couldn't all just be like we were five years ago."

Stacey looked down at her hands. "How's Mary Anne?"

"Good question. Jordan just rang me before, asking if I had spoken to her and I called Dawn, whose at Claudia's cause she had a fight with Sharon, so probably not good." I said. "That house is...very...tense right now."

"Yeah, so's mine. Samantha and my dad wanted me for Christmas and so did my mom, it happens every year, it's so annoying. Dad got for Christmas this year and New years is with mom. It swaps every year."

"What's going to happen when your like thirty?" I asked. "They still going to fight over you?"

Stacey laughed. "Probably, knowing them. Mom took it extra hard because Samantha and Dad are planning on adopting, well, they're in the final stages. They didn't want to say anything until like, it was semi-permanent."

"Wow, your going to have a sibling. Are you going to get jealous and like steal their toys?"

Stacey smiled. "I'm glad we talk now." She said. "Seeing Mallory being so hostile to everyone made me realize, I kind of miss it all. Being thirteen and having the BSC and all those adventures, I mean, it also makes me realize I'm eighteen in April."

I looked over at the one picture I had framed of the BSC. I wasn't going to tell Stacey I only got it framed during junior year. "Yeah, it's kind of scary. I mean, Mary Anne dates a Pike triplet. I never saw that coming."

"You and Cary Retlin?" Stacey asked with her eyebrow raised. "There's another surprise."

"Claudia and Alan Grey dating this long."

"Claudia and Alan Grey dating at all."

"Mallory becoming the moody, pot smoking, grungy one of the group." I said. "I never saw that coming at all."

Stacey looked at the photo frame. "Yeah, everyone's kind of surprised me. Even myself." She said, looking up at me.

"Kristy! Dinnertime! Ask Stacey if she's staying!" Mom yelled from downstairs.

I looked at Stacey. "You want to stay?" I asked.

Stacey stood up and smiled. "Sure!"

/

I got up early, something I hadn't done since I was fourteen. We were all going to a party held by some junior and then I was going over to Cary's for a sleepover. I was glad he had made sure that his parents would be visiting his aunt's and that his brothers wouldn't be there either. Claudia, Dawn and Mary Anne were meant to be coming over at one. But I still hadn't heard from Mary Anne. We had rarely gone this long without talking. I stood in the kitchen eating Cheerio's, staring into space.

"Earth to captain comatose." Sam said, waving his hand in front of my face.

I smacked his hand out of the way. "Shut up Sam." I said, turning around and washing my bowl out. "Are you busy today?" I asked.

Sam's body was half in the refrigerator, probably searching for something to eat. "Not till tonight. Why? You need a lift somewhere?"

"Yeah, actually. Can you take me to Mary Anne's? I'll be like five minutes."

Sam turned around and shut the door with a bowel in his hand. "Sure, we'll leave in fifteen minutes."

I rushed up stairs and brushed my hair, put my sneakers on and grabbed my coat, scarf and gloves. It had been unnaturally cold and windy this winter. I cracked my knuckles. What was I going to say? How was I going to explain that I was randomly rocking up for no reason without Mary Anne realizing I was checking up on her. I slapped myself on the forehead. I was stupid for thinking that senior year would be easy and undramatic. It had been nothing but uneasy and dramatic. Sometimes, I felt like I was in some kind of crappy soap opera Nannie watched during the day. I continued to be like this as Sam drove me to Mary Anne's house. Both Richard and Sharon's cars were in the drive way. And it seemed quiet. I stared at the house. "I'll be back in a second." I said as I took off my seatbelt.

Sam yawned. "Okay." He said as he turned the music on the radio up.

I got out of the car and walked up to the front door. I pressed the doorbell and I heard it echo through the house. I frowned as I realized they could've gone out, but the cars were in the driveway. I heard footsteps and the front door swung open.

"Hello, Kristy." Mr Spier said. He looked tired and kind of tense. "What can I do for you?"

"Um, I was wondering if Mary Anne was here?" I said. I looked into the house and saw a photo frame lying on the ground with glass around it.

Mr Spier blinked at me, like he didn't know who Mary Anne was. "Oh, she's gone to her grandmother's in Iowa for a couple of days. She will be back in time for school."

"Oh okay.." I said.

"I'll get her to call you as soon as she gets back."

I nodded as I started turn around. "Thanks! Bye!" I rushed back to Sam's car.

/

The doorbell rang and I rushed out of my room. I almost collided with Karen at the top of the stairs. "It's for me!" I said as I tried not to trip over my feet as I went down the stairs.

"It could be for me!" Karen shouted back.

"Not everything is for you, Karen!" I shouted as I reached the front door. I opened the door to Claudia and Dawn, I let them in. "See? It's Claudia and Dawn!" I said to her as she walked back into her room and slammed the door shut. "Little bitch." I muttered underneath my breath. "Were we that bad when we were that age?" I asked as we walked up the stairs.

"I don't know." Dawn said as we went into my room. "Maybe we were and we didn't realize it." She said as she dropped her duffel bag and flopped onto my bed.

Claudia played with the things on my dresser, like she normally did. "I started noticing boys when I was eleven." She said as she sat down next to Dawn on my bed. "So." She said raising her eyebrows. "Tonight."

"Tonight..." Dawn echoed with a grin on her face.

I stared at their creepy faces. "Is there something I should know?" I asked.

Claudia and Dawn looked at each other before returning to looking at me. "It's going to be your first time." Claudia said.

"It's okay to be nervous." Dawn said.

I stared at them, with my eyebrows raised. "Are you two okay?" I asked. "I'm fine. I'm not nervous and I'm going to be okay."

"What are you wearing tonight?" Claudia asked. "Something sexy?"

"You know, you ask me that every time." I said. "I'm just wearing my black dress and coat. It will be too cold out to wear anything else."

Claudia clapped her hands. "I have a whole outfit planned!"

Dawn sniggered. "Please don't tell me it's a rival of your old outfits from the eighth grade!"

Claudia shoved Dawn back and got up and opened her duffel bag. She pulled out a short silver sequin skirt followed by a black halter top. "I'm going to wear these with tights and," She dropped the top and skirt on the bed and pulled out a pair of black high heels. "These!"

"Candy called and asked for her stripper heals back." Dawn said.

Claudia dropped the heals on the bed and put her hands on her hips. "Not funny." She said. "This is our last new years as high school students."

"Then why am I spending it sub-freezing weather?" Dawn asked. "I could've been at a beach party tonight."

"Is Mary Anne still coming tonight?" Claudia asked.

I shook my head. "She's in Iowa, visiting her grandma. I went to your house this morning and Richard answered the door." I looked at Dawn. She didn't seem all too surprised. I knew I couldn't bring up that I saw the broken picture frame on the ground. For the next six hours, I didn't bring it up. I tried to not think about it but I couldn't stop.

"You want to know why Mom and I had a fight?" Dawn asked.

I turned around. I was searching for a pair of black stockings that I had sworn I had seen earlier. Claudia was in the shower. "Why?" I asked.

"She and Mary Anne got into another argument. Well... she kind of had a go at her about the state of the upstairs bathroom and blamed her and I stepped in, cause I'm the one who made the mess and I guess she didn't like it."

"That you stood up for Mary Anne?"

Dawn shrugged. "I guess, probably cause I chose Mary Anne not my own mother but she had no right to go off like that. She's been doing it since I got here and she always invites me to go places and I ask if Mary Anne is coming and she says no. She's my mom and Mary Anne is my step sister and my friend. I can't choose between the two unless I don't want to ever talk to one another again. It's stupid how my mother is acting."

"It would be hard, I mean, both are your family. It doesn't matter about blood."

Dawn exhaled loudly and looked down. "I'm just... really over it. I mean, sure Carol and I never really got along at first but now, we understand each other and we don't fight."

Claudia opened my bedroom door, her hair in a towel and dressed. "Your turn, Dawn." She said.

Dawn looked at me. "Thanks." She said, grabbing all her stuff, closing the door behind her.

Claudia grunted as she tried to pull on her tights. "What you guys talk about?" She asked.

"California." I said. I had a chance to call Mary Anne while Dawn was in the shower. "I'm going to go downstairs quickly."

"Okay."

I quickly rushed downstairs, pulling out the piece of paper I had written down Mary Anne's grandmother's number. I dialed it.

"Hello, Baker residence."

"Hi, It's Kristy Thomas. I'm a friend of Mary Anne's, I was wondering if I could possibly talk to her?"

"Oh, sure dear, here she is." I heard her grandmother call her name and footsteps. I took a deep breath. "Hello?"

"Hi, it's Kristy."

"How did you know I was here?"

I frowned. That was a bit rude. "I went to your house today. Your father told me. I was only making sure you were okay because Jordan called me yesterday worried."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should've called him before I left."

"I was only calling to make sure you were okay."

"I am, I'll be back before school."

"How come you...left?"

"Sharon was really... I was sick of her having a go at me and after the fight she and Dawn got into and then my dad and her got into a fight, I was just so upset and sick of it. Kristy, if I tell you something, can you keep it a secret, especially from Dawn?"

I swallowed. "Sure?"

"Sharon and my dad are getting divorced."

I blinked. "What?"

"They haven't told anyone but me. I don't want Dawn to find out unless it comes from her mom. Please, Kristy, can you please keep it a secret?"

"Yeah, I will. I should go."

"Thanks, listen I'm sorry for worrying you. Have a good new years and I'll call you when I get back."

"Okay, you have fun too. And be safe."

"Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and walked back upstairs. I almost collided into Dawn as she came back from the shower.

"It's your turn." She said. She grabbed my arm. "What's wrong? You've been kinda spacey."

Your mom and step dad are getting divorced. "I guess I am really worried about what's going to happen between Cary and I." I said, trying to look convincing enough.

Dawn laughed. "If you said that four years ago, I would've slapped you silly."

/

"So, whose party is this?" I asked as we walked through the open front door.

Claudia scrunched her face up. "Josh Peterson?" She asked as she took a sip of her bottle of tequila. "I think?"

Dawn laughed. "I have no clue who that it is." She said as we made our way through the crowd.

Despite the sub Arctic weather outside, it was warm inside. I gripped Cary's hand as a bunch of rowdy junior boys pushed their way past us. "What is happening outside?" I asked as I watched everyone make their way towards the back. As soon as I stepped out, I knew why.

"Jelly Wrestling!" I heard someone shout, followed by people chanting.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked.

There was a squeal of a microphone static and then a boy with brown hair got up on a pile of boxes. "Hi everyone, I'm Josh Peterson!" There was a burst of screaming and clapping. "I am so glad all of you deicide to ring in the new year with me!" More screaming. "Tonight's entertainment is... Girl on Girl jelly wrestling!"

I looked at Claudia and pointed. "Don't you get any ideas!" I turned around to Cary who had a smirk on his face. "Don't you either!"

Cary held his hands up in protest. "I'm not! It's probably for sophomores and freshmen anyway."

Dawn turned around with a wicked grin on her face. "Forty-five minutes till midnight!" She screamed.

I stared at my feet. It felt unnatural that Mary Anne wasn't here and Dawn was. I looked up as I watched Janet O'Neal tackle Nan White into the tiny blow up pool full of jelly. I wondered if Mallory was here. I was a tall lanky Pike triplet. "I'll be right back." I said, shoving my bottle into Cary's hands. I pushed my way towards him. When I reached him, I grabbed his arm. "Are you Jordan?" I asked.

"Oh hey Kristy, I'm Byron. Jordan's here somewhere."

I nodded as I felt myself go red. "Sorry, um, can you tell him I'm looking for him?" I asked. "If you see him?"

Byron nodded. "Sure. Happy new year."

"Happy new year." I said. I walked back to my friends. I looked up at the house and noticed Mallory standing in a window. She was staring at me. I looked away quickly before looking back. She moved her finger across her neck before walking away from the window. "What the fuck?" I said.

"What's wrong?" Dawn asked.

"Mallory just did this," I copied what Mallory did to me. "To me." I said.

Dawn scrunched up her face. "What a crazy person!"

Claudia grabbed us. "Let's dance!" She said, before dragging us back into the house. We danced right up until someone announced there was a minute to midnight.

I felt someone's arm snake across my back, turning me around as they pulled me towards them. "Would you like to be my new years kiss?" Cary asked.

I smiled. "Yes." I said. "I hope next year is better than this year."

Cary chuckled. "Of course, you have me in it."

I swatted his arm. "You are so up yourself."

Someone had brought the microphone inside and started counting down. "5...4...3...2...1. Happy new year!" They shouted.

I pressed my lips against Cary's, standing on the tops of his shoes. I pull away. Behind Cary, Cokie Mason is staring at me. The same images that popped into my mind months ago at Alan Grey's party and caused me to vomit. Cokie raises one eyebrow and crosses her arms over her chest. I wonder if she's planning something.

"You ready to go back to my house?" Cary whispers in my ear, raising his eyebrows suggestively and smirking.

I felt my face go hot. "Yeah, I'll just say goodbye to people." I find Claudia still making out with Alan, so I decide I'll go find Dawn instead. I find her up against the hallway stairs with RJ Blaser. I walk back to Cary. "Um, I guess they're too busy." I said as he directed me out of the house and into the cold air. "How far is your house from here?" I asked as I did my coat back up.

"About ten minutes." Cary replied. "Your parents okay with you staying at my house?"

"Um, they know I'm going to a party so they'll probably think I'll end up at Claudia's or Dawn's."

"It's pretty cool your parents aren't super strict."

Watson and my mom weren't strict, but we had rules. After Sam and Charlie went through high school, I thought often Watson and my mom thought I was a blessing. "Yeah." I said. I was being to feel sick in my stomach. As we got closer to Cary's house, I began to sweat profusely and my stomach started doing flip flops. I looked up at Cary. He looked completely calm and normal. Of course he was feeling normal, he wasn't about to lose his virginity. Cary let us in, guiding me through his pitch black house and up the stairs and into his room. I thought Cary would've turned on the light, but instead he turned me around to face him. "Um...I..."

"Um...what?" Cary asked.

I felt him undo the buttons on my coat. I pulled off my gloves, dropping them on the ground. "I...I have...no idea what I'm saying."

Cary chuckled. "I'm gathering that." He said. He picked me up after he pushed my coat off. We started kissing and my stomach started doing back flips. Cary moved towards his bed and he dropped me down on it. "So..." He said. In the almost darkness, I could see him taking off his shirt and his belt.

I sat up. I could hear nothing but my loud breathing. "I want this. I don't want you to stop like last time." I said, licking my lips. "I want you." My cheeks would've been bright red.

Cary's hand cupped the edge of my face. "Anything you want, darling."

/

Before I even opened my eyes, I knew I wasn't in my bed. Then I remembered and then I felt my face get hot. I opened my eyes and I was met with a familiar room and person right next to me. Cary was lying on his stomach with his face hidden by the pillow. I peaked underneath the blankets, realising we were both naked and bolted upwards. I had lost my virginity to Cary Retlin! I pushed my hair back out of my face and looked around for my clothes. After I got dressed, I looked at Cary as he slept. He looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake him up. I jotted down on a notepad quickly, Call me when you wake up and we'll go out for lunch. Going home for a shower, Kristy x. I pulled my gloves on as I left the Retlin's house. It was a quick walk home as it hadn't snowed much over night. Something told me this year was going to be a fresh, drama free start. I smiled the whole way home. As I walked across my front yard, someone called my name. "Kristy!"

I turned around. Jessi was standing there, bundled up in her winter coat. "Hey, what you doing?" I asked.

Jessi's smile disappeared. "I have something to tell you and I know you can keep secrets, right?" Jessi asked. She looked worried and tired.

I nodded. "Sure, I can. You can always tell me anything."

Jessi closed her eyes for a moment before reopening them. "I'm pregnant."

So much for that fresh, drama free start.


End file.
